Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Tue Pose a Question

Why procrastination? What does it do for me? I'm doing it right now and I can't figure it out. Why, when I have something pressing that I don't want to do, am I so excited to do the other things that I put off on every other day? Is it just a means to make myself feel like crap later on when I'm rushing around trying to get what is pressing done? Do I like feeling overwhelmed and despairing with to much too do in too little time? I know I don't like it, but maybe somewhere at some deep unconscious level I do, because why else would I do it so much of the freakin' time?

I look at people who are organized and do things in time with ease and grace and wonder what battles they have to fight in their mind. Their house is clean, children well behaved, finances lovely, food storage is set, testimony is secure... at least that is what is visible on the surface. Do they have problems too?

I can't see their problems, but I feel like my life is an open book, and that book ain't Charles Dickens... it's an Elmo coloring book that a three year old has scribbled on every page. My life is crazy and disorganized and nothing seems to be "in the lines". Do those apparently perfect people feel the same way? I wish I could name a few of them and ask them. What are your battles, you perfect people? Tell me!

Ya, I know. I'm looking at my neighbor like I admonished myself not to yesterday. Open book, see? Well anyway... procrastination and why I do it is on my mind and I'm not in a very good mood today. I just don't feel like being eloquent or nice, so my apologies to all you lovelies who are reading. I'll get over it and be happy tomorrow or in 5 minutes... that's how I roll.

13 comments:

Rachel Chick said...

You know, Clanc, I can honestly understand your feelings. I am there constantly. I hate it too. I was asking myself these same questions Sunday (and everyday, but Sunday in particular) as I had all morning to get ready, but I didn't want to and then we were so late that we missed Sacrament Meeting. Why do I do that? Why don't I get myself prepared beforehand and THEN do whatever I want? So all we have to do is walk out the door? I don't know. I've questioned this problem often. The same problem that is currently overtaking my laundry room and bathroom and bedroom. I truly feel like one of the most inefficient people in the world. Oh well! :) I'm workin' on it. Hey, if you guys are super busy today, I'd love to see you! You can come over and see what I'm doing with my bathroom or I'd love to see any progress you've made on your basement. Just let me know - or maybe I'll call you later if you don't call me. Talk to you then!

Tresa Anderson said...

I don't know what to say!! There are so many things!! Like.. yea..that's how I feel too! You writing is raw the last couple of days!! I love it! Thanks for being you!!

Holly said...

Maybe the people you are thinking are so perfect on the outside give off that image because they are insecure with other things that you're not. I don't know. I feel like you, always running around never having enough time for things, when in reality I do have enough time. It just takes planning, and I don't plan for myself. If it's for anything or anyone else I can easily do it, but not for me. It's the same with organizing my stuff. I could easily do it and keep it straight for someone else, but since it's mine I can't. I don't get it. Hang in there.

Kristin said...

Well, I've never seen your house, but I think you are one of those "perfect" people. :) But maybe we define perfection differently... right now you are defining it as someone who is organized. Another day it may be something else. You are great! Keep smiling (or start if you haven't already). The sun'll come up tomorrow! ;)

Nicky said...

Maybe it runs in your family. Z is the biggest procrastinator I know. We will have five minutes before we need to leave, and he is not dressed yet, but will choose this time to clip his nails, or some other unnecessary thing. It drives me nuts! But it is teaching me to have more patience (and to tell him things start 30 min before they actually do). So it may be hereditary and not your fault at all!

Ginny said...

I think we all procrastinate to some degree...stress is a great motivator!!! :-) I loved this post because it was so honest. I like to pretend to have it all together and feel I have succeeded if someone actually buys into it. And then I have days like today, when I totally blow my cover by spacing early-out and leaving my kindergartener and his two friends stranded at the school. They took them to the office where the secretary tried and tried to get a hold of me to no avail, eventually giving up and calling one of the other moms. Dang, cover blown!! na na na na...welcome to Elmo's world. We all live in it!!

Leah said...

I've got that same elmo coloring book! ha ha! I dont' know how those people do it either. I'm never one step ahead of anything or anyone...

Leah said...

I've got that same elmo coloring book! ha ha! I dont' know how those people do it either. I'm never one step ahead of anything or anyone...

Polly said...

I always feel like you are one of the "perfects".

I'm pretty sure what you wrote is what a lot of people are thinking...I know I am.

Maria Hart said...

Who are your friends that are so perfect on the surface, because it could also be that you are looking at them through "grass-is-always-greener" glasses. If they are indeed perfect, could you schedule a home tour we can all go on to help us all figure life out? I agree with Tresa, your writing has been very raw lately. I hope it is cathartic for you, it beautiful and helpful to us. I admire your ability achieve public introspection... I haven't gotten there yet.

Kaci said...

it's an Elmo coloring book that a three year old has scribbled on every page...me too me too! :)

Mags said...

Hello! Thanks for entering the Life is Short: Eat Dessert First! contest. Remember, if anyone comes over and says that you sent them not only will THEY be entered, but YOU'LL get an extra entry too!

Good luck Clancy!

Ashley said...

I totally understand! Procrastination gets me every time.