Friday, May 29, 2009

Friday's Fabulous Five

1- The urge to blog is likened unto the moon. It waxes. It wanes.

2- I think my husband might be done working out of town for a while. Now that is fabulous!

3- Stake Fine Arts Night is over as of last night. I am a puddle of relief today.

4- Ella and Rohan just had another birthday within the last week. My children are growing. They just don't stop!

5- 1400 page books. Love 'em.

(Not sure why #1 makes the list of 5 fabulous things in my life right now, but I'm leaving it.)

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Clancy Trivia

- Clancy loves the smell of scotch tape. Loves it. Enough to snag a piece every now and then and stick it on her nose so she can smell it as she walks around.

- Clancy likes to talk in third person. "And that," she says, "is the coolest thing about Facebook."

- Clancy is going to explode with anxiety sometime in the next couple days. Then, on Friday, she will melt into a puddle and read a 1400+ page book.

- Clancy's laundry is currently exploded all over her large basement laundry room. She was doing good at keeping up. And then, she wasn't.

- Clancy is irritated by her iPod car charger. Why won't it work!??

- Clancy bought the wrong ink cartridge for her printer. Why!? WWWWHHHHHYYYYYY!!!!???

- Clancy had a lovely but very busy Memorial Weekend. Non-stop action.

- Clancy wants to sell her houses because she is sick of dealing with renters.

- Clancy's husband loves her and she him.

- Clancy doesn't remember how to cook real dinner anymore. She's completely derailed.

- Clancy is done with this silly post.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Procrastination and My Monkey Boyfriend

In a text convo with my friend, she asked how I was. "I'm fine, thanks." I said. "Just busy procrastinating."

She then proceeded to ask what I was procrastinating and I told her, though, for now I am going to keep it between myself and she. But, in true procrastinating form, rather than do the thing I'm putting off, I will regale you with a promised story about a monkey.

We have the most charming little zoo where I live. It's just big enough to be interesting and just small enough to go through the whole thing in a hour or maybe two, if you linger at each exhibit. Last year, for Ella's birthday, I visited the zoo with my children and my parents. We had a lovely time and near the end of our tour, we stopped at the monkey house. There are several gibbons there, two of which were in the outdoor habitat, one black with a little white beard and the other white with black marks on her face. We watched them for a while and somehow, the black one took a shining to my dad and I. He started following us when we would move around the perimeter of the habitat, enclosed in thick glass. It became a game. A very entertaining game for us humans made especially so by the white monkey who, for reasons that will remain a mystery, would wait until we weren't paying attention and swing down from on high and slam herself into the glass enclosure with a loud bang. It would startle us almost every time, but the black monkey continued to follow us, me in particular, as we ran back and forth in front of his cage amidst the slamming of the white monkey.

I would guess that we played this game for about an hour with our little monkey friends. We laughed and laughed and loved every minute of it and then it came time to go.

The End.

Just kidding.

That was the end until about two months later. I was back at the zoo with my Mother's Group friends and I mentioned this funny encounter with the two monkeys to Maria and a few others present. Shortly, we came to the gibbons who, on this occasion, were residing in the indoor portion of their housing. My little black monkey was up in the tippy-top of the room looking out of a skylight window. For the first few minutes he didn't pay attention that there were new droves of people there to observe him. Then he looked down, saw me and proceed to swing down and plop himself right in front of me again, holding his long arms up with right-angled elbows. He remembered me. I was thrilled! He did this arm gesture on the previous occasion and made little kissey gestures with his lips, which he did again. I'm not silly enough to believe he was actually kissing at me, but it was so funny to watch those little black lips work. I began again my game of running back and forth in front of his cage to see if he'd follow me. He did, much to the delight of all who were observing. I had also mentioned the white monkey and her antics to my zoo companions, and she didn't disappoint either.

So there I was, running back and forth with my black monkey following coupled with the occasional interruption of the white monkey's slamming/startling action, leaving all present thoroughly entertained for a good twenty minutes. In the way of all good things, it came time to go and I found myself hard-pressed to walk away from my little black friend. I felt like I was abandoning him. He seemed sad to see me go, which made me sad, in turn. I held up my hand to the glass and told him goodbye, thinking I would come see him soon.

I didn't.

The end.

Just kidding.

That was the end, until last week. On Thursday I went to the zoo again with my friend, Rebby. I haven't been in nearly a year. As we walked through the different exhibits, I mentioned my little black monkey-friend to Rebby and told her the two stories and how he remembered me. She seemed dubious, but I didn't care. I was excited to see him, to see if he'd remember me again.

As before, we came to the monkey house at the end of our zoo adventures. I saw my little black darling and his white companion in the outdoor cage, near the top. I walked up to the cage and he didn't seem to care even though he was looking right at me. Crestfallen, I thought perhaps it could be the hood I was wearing (due to the biting wind) and so I pulled it off. He was watching me as I did, and no sooner than he saw my head uncovered, he jumped up, swung himself on his very long arms to land in front of me, arms above his head, elbows at right angles, hands on the glass, and little black mouth gesticulating in kissing motions.

I was so excited! After almost a year, he remembered me! We proceeded to play our run back and forth game and I relished in these through-the-glass affections of my little monkey. Strangely, the white monkey just observed this time, apparently deciding to forego her slamming antics. That was fine with me.

When it was time to go, I felt sad, as did my Little Black. Well, I like to think he was sad anyway. There's no telling for sure, but he looked forlorn as I left. Not to worry, my little friend. I'll be back, and I won't wait a year for it. I promise.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009


Don't you think "Jot" is a great word? Everything about it perfectly illustrates it's definition. Hence my post, jotting down a thought about the word "Jot".

I love words. Jive is another favorite. Squishy. Galoshes. Akimbo. Hogwash. Sofa. Unctuous. Cabbage... to name a few. Maybe I'll think of more later. I also like to say the word "disenchanted".

Friday, May 15, 2009

Friday's Fabulous Five

1- I'm posting some again. The urge to spill superfluous information about my day to day thoughts and/or activities is coming back. Seems silly, but I'm so relieved.

2- I have a monkey-boyfriend at our local zoo. More on that later.

3- Butter cream frosting.... enough said.

4- Being in love rules. Still being in love after 11 years rules even more. Being in love and having the object of your affection out of town 5 days a week sucks. Having object of affection come back on Fridays makes Fridays, which were already the best day of the week, rule the universe.

5- Running. My body itches to run now. What a weird thing...

Wednesday, May 13, 2009


I was late. Very late. Images of my exasperated children popped in my head. I could just hear their little voices as they opened the car door. "Mom! Why are you always late?!" In the way of internal conversations, I answered their ghost-question with a mental sigh, "I don't know, my little loves. I don't know. I ask myself the same thing all the time."

As my mind continued conjuring these images, my foot pressed a little harder on the gas. Not that the ten or so seconds gained by going faster would make my children have a mother that was on time, but it made me feel better.

With all that brain-chatter interference, my normally acute cop-radar was not functioning at peak performance. I saw the cop car with my eyes, but it did not register in my brain. Well, it did, but my brain said, "No, Clancy... no need to stomp on the brake. It's parked in front of a house, meaning that the cop lives there." My brain forgot to mention that I've driven this route every day of the week for three years (excluding summers) and never before has there been a patrol car in that spot. I simply continued at my illegal speed, distracted as I was, coming up fast on said police car.

Thinking the car void of inhabitants, I was shocked to suddenly see an arm shoot out of the window, skeletal structure in a straight line to the wrist, ending in a single pointed finger aimed at the ground. The shoulders along with pectorals, lats and countless other muscles unseen by my eyes, forced the prostrate arm and pointing finger up and down in a very exaggerated, very clear message. SLOW DOWN.

It's a rather amazing thing, the adrenal system at work. Before my brain really registered what the signal meant, my heart was pounding and it felt as though it had jumped to my throat, leaving a watery feeling in my arms and stomach. Then my brain (so slow!) finally said, "DUDE! That's a cop sitting there waiting for unsuspecting speeders like you!!!" and it proceeded to send a little message down the pipe (which pipe, by the way, brings to mind those drive through bank teller tubes) causing my foot to stomp on the brake. I slowed down to the speed limit before I reached him and waved in gratitude as I passed without turning my head. After all, I can be grateful without having to show the shame in my eyes to the owner of the warning arm, right?

As I passed and waved, I started giggling rather hysterically. I was suddenly a child, eight, maybe ten years old, caught in some act of stupidity by an adult who rightly gives me a silent but firm rebuke, thus sparing my embarrassment from everyone save myself and the chastising adult. It must have been the combination of that mental image and the blood surging quicker-than-normal through my veins, but I couldn't stop the laughter. The giggling was accompanied by an ear-splitting grin.

I can't explain it, but as I drove to my children, slightly under the speed limit, I was rapturous. Joyous. Happy beyond measure. My insides felt warm, like a cheery fire had been lit in my lower abdominal cavity. The smile on my lips went bone deep and I marveled at this simple gift of sweet exuberance wrapped in the very strange and surprising package of warning and adrenalin. It makes no sense to me, even now. But for reasons unknown, I was unequivocally happy this day.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Edge of a Knife

It's a hard line to walk.
And all you can do is walk it and wait.

Ring-Around-The-Rosie in whispers and giggles.
Duck-Duck-Goose in tears and anguish.

The longing coupled with complete aversion
Gnaws at every moment,
Both exhilarating and nauseating.
The unseen, unknown and unfathomable flood
Of unfounded fear and potential joy
Swirling in an incessant current,
Drowning it's succumbing victims.

Looming day whispers a promise of the Whole World,
Or one drop in the Ocean of Time,
But there's only the waiting.
For now.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Dear Blog,

I'm sorry for my persistent absence. I have left you alone far too much, and it simply can't be good for you. I have been worried about someone reporting me for blog-neglect. That's so selfish, really. I'm worried about myself when you're the one who's hurting!

Even though I haven't been around, I think of you. I think of you in between all the other thoughts that have been swimming circles in my head. I've had a lot on my mind and it's all very crowded in my skull. Really, I should be hashing it all out with you, my stalwart friend, but for inexplicable reasons, I've been unable.

I told you once before that I look for silver linings. Do you remember that? Actually, I think it was my last post, just over a week ago. Well, I'm looking for them now and, in spite of your neglect, guess what I've found? Balance. At least a little bit... Along with more sleep. You have been telling me for a while now that I need to get more sleep and I'm finally obliging. Hopefully I can continue on this track because it's healthier for both of us. Wait patiently for me, Blog, as I'm sure I will be back, in force, once I figure out this phase of my life. (it's all an illusion, you know... just when I figure it out, a new phase rears it's head, ready to be tackled...)

Thanks for listening, Blog. I really have missed you and I hope to be feeling better soon.


P.S. I miss my hubby... fiercely.