Saturday, December 13, 2008
Anyone?
Thursday, October 9, 2008
You Asked...
- I obviously decided to say yes. I had gone home to Idaho and visited with my parents... prayed a lot... and come to my answer. I drove back to Logan and went straight to his apartment. We went to his room, I sat him down, and, looking very serious, leaned over and whispered "yes" in his ear. He bowled me over with a hug and sweet tears. We smiled, we cried, we laughed. His joy and elation were there, just six days later than he imagined.
Looking back on it from this perspective, I see things more clearly. I am grateful for this beautiful moment that I've just experienced, hammering out these thoughts on my keyboard and feeling some portion of my sweetheart's pain. I hear the symphony now and the rightness of how it all unfolded.
- (whew! that was one long answer that went a direction I didn't expect!)
- Carmy said...
Do you remember what your first thought of me was?
Sweet. Gentle. Quiet. Loves my brother.- Thanks for the break, Kristin!
-
Maria Hart said... 1. Why is it called "common sense" when does not seem to be common at all?
It's a whimsical and wistful phrase... kind of like fairies. We all wish they existed so they could wave wands and make dreams come true. Just as we all wish common sense was common and existed in every human brain on the planet, creating a world of idiotlessness... but it's really just a wish and a dream when we say, "it's common sense".
2. What super hero or super power would you love to be/have? Why?
I think I would like to be a Spirit Warrior, like the Quileute Indian tribe's histories in New Moon. I like the idea of leaving my body and being able to go back into it at will. I wish I could do that right now. Sometimes I could use a different perspective.
I would also like to have fire come out of the tip of my finger, like Pyro on X-men. Think of how handy I would be when I go camping, or if I had a gas stove?! And I could make quick work of lighting birthday candles! I'd also like to be able to turn invisible. And I'd like to have pre-cognition... spidey-sense. And I'd like to run fast like Dash, but be strong like Mr. Incredible. Then I could just put my kids in the car, put it in neutral and push fast! I'd be the greenest darned car in town! :) Oh... I better stop there. I could go on all night!
Ginny said...what has been your greatest challenge in your life thus far? and how did you deal with it?
This would have to be overcoming that voice inside me that tells me I'm unworthy, not good enough, etc... or my ego, as it has been called. I think this is the "natural man" spoken of in the scriptures. The natural man is an enemy to God and the natural man is who tells me I'm separate, alone, and unworthy of being heard. I could elaborate for pages and pages about this, my greatest challenge... but I've already written too much above. Maybe I'll post my thoughts some other time.
- As far as your other question goes, "how did I deal with it?"... that implies that it was in the past and already dealt with. This is not so. I deal with it every moment. I deal with it in lots of different ways... reading, praying, talking to certain people who encourage me, grinding in new ideas that I'm ok and loved, safe and worthy, good enough and deserving, beautiful and bright. It is a moment by moment battle that I would imagine is a consistent journey rather than a destination. I think it will be ever-present while I am on this earth and it may change and morph and become better, but then some new level of the same challenge will arise as my awareness expands, and as I grow. I am up to the challenge.
- Rachel Chick said...
I have a fabulous question for you . . .
Will you sing with me? :)
I don't care what, just something.
Nels thinks that we should make a band! :) LOL! Your dad could play guitar, Nels could play bass . . . we could make it work!
I think you are so fabulous Clancy! Thanks for being my friend.ABSOLUTELY! I would love nothing more than to sing with you. And I think a band would be the awesomest! Finding time to be a band is the trick, but let's do it! And until we are a band, let's just you and I sing something together!
Thank you... I think you are equally fabulous and I am so grateful that life brought us together as friends.
- beth s. said...
If you had to assign gender to salt and pepper how would you do it and why?
Brings back memories of good times...Pepper is female. Salt is male. Pepper is so complicated looking. So many colors swirling around, can't make up it's mind, some bites burn your mouth more than others. Salt is constant. It's always cubical (you know... the fracture line things? Dustin's a geologist, I should ask him what they're called), it's consistently white and you can count on it to always taste the same. I don't know about the men in your life, but that's pretty much Dustin... very consistent.
What do you feel was the most, or one of the most, critcial moments in your life, you know the kind that change the rest of your life and you can trace it back to that very moment?
Saying 'yes' to Dustin. (see above) I can't elaborate a lot cuz this post is long already and I'm tired and want to go to bed... but that really is it. It set me down a path I don't know that I ever would have followed otherwise and it is exactly what I needed to learn some incredible lessons (still learning them)! I will say that after I decided to say yes, I questioned it and doubted all through our engagement. Then, on the day we were getting married (still questioning in my mind), I got my hair and make-up all fixed, and we went to the Salt Lake Temple and were meeting Dustin in the lobby area. He was waiting for me and, as soon as I looked at him, peace settled over me like a blanket. As long as I live, I will never forget that feeling. I knew it was right and I never doubted again.
-
Connie said... Is it too late to ask another question? That's not my question.
No, it's not too late! LOL!
I know you sing and play guitar. Have you ever composed/written anything?
Yes, I have.If so, what type of songs?
Dumb ones. ;) I dunno, it's hard to be objective on your own songs, but they're not very cool. I've only written two. One for an assignment in college which I had to perform for my final. I was sick for a week before that "final". The other is not quite finished... I wrote the lyrics first and I don't think it's as easy to do it that way... oh well. It's just for fun.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Tue Pose a Question
Don't we all want to look like a shiny new penny... not the corroded green, sticky, can't-tell-what-year-it-is penny that screeches under the wheel of your grocery cart? I think the answer to that is yes. That's why we women wear makeup, right? To show the shiny-penny side of ourselves? Well, I'd rather go out without makeup a thousand-and-three times than have someone come into my house when it's really messy. It makes me anxious. It makes me near hyperventilation. It makes me feel like I am going to vomit. If one's mind could go to jail for assault on themselves, my little brain would be locked up for life, lifting weights while it quietly awaits the electric chair. It's that bad folks.
I grew up in a messy house and I haven't yet learned the ways of good housekeeping. I'm trying to ease up on myself because I'm doing the best I know how with the arsenal my childhood equipped me with. So... the question(s) I'd like to ask, which I have no answer for (as noted above), is: How do you keep your house clean? What is your routine? Do you have certain chores on certain days of the week? How do you enlist your children in these duties without a big 'ole nasty fight? Is there a specific time of day you clean, or is it all the live-long day?
My dream is to learn how to love myself, regardless of the state of my house. That is the goal. I'm pretty sure, because of the severe intensity of my feelings around this matter, that it is a deeper issue than just a clean house or a messy house, but I haven't yet dug in that dark corner of my mind to uncover what that might be. Until I am ready to get out the pick and shovel, or jack-hammer and backhoe as the case may be, maybe I can pick up a few pointers from all of you, my lovely friends. :)
Thursday, June 5, 2008
50 Things
I changed this one from a slightly different question. I have had one puff on a cigarette when I was 5 years old. My dad was doing an anti-smoking campaign.
3. Do you own a gun?
I don't, but my hubby has several.
I think they are funny. It makes me feel like a kid when I eat them.
Umm... all of them. All the sacred ones, that is.
8. What do you like to drink in the morning?
Orange Juice, if I have it. I don't usually. Water if I'm eating scrambled eggs and toast.
9. Can you do push ups?
Heck ya! Not very many real push-ups, but girly ones I can do quite a few.
Millions! (we're speaking what we want, ya?)
11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry?
My grandma's necklace. It was the only thing I REALLY wanted from her after she passed away. Also a Larimar necklace that Dustin bought me in Maui.
Blogging and reading.
13 and 14??? they were missing.
15. One trait you hate about yourself?
That I hate things about myself. Self-loathing does nobody any good.
16. Middle Name?
Leigh
17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?
Go to bed.
I want to sing like David Archuleta... with so much feeling and control.
I want to sing something somewhere with someone.
To sell or not to sell. That is the question.
21. Current hate right now?
Come on. Hate is such a strong word. OK. Fine. I hate that my friend dropped by and my house was a total WRECK. I was anxious and uncomfortable. The self-loathing came on strong that night.
With friends... Osai's and Gibson's playing games and laughing alot.
24. Where would you like to go?
I guess that's where the tag comes in. But don't feel obligated. Check it out at the end.
26. Do you own slippers?
Three pair of them.
Old Navy polo style... navy blue with different colored stripes.
28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?
Hate it. I have terribly scratchy heels (will pick up a dryer sheet and I'll walk with it for a while without realizing.) and they catch on satin. EWW!!
Yes. Only regular whistling. Nothing crazy loud.
Blue. I have a Larimar necklace in the specific color of blue.
Heck ya! Probly just for the weekend though! (wink to Sib!)
Whatever song is on my mind. But I strangely don't do a ton of singing in the shower. It's my thinking place.
Ella, Brae, Bryn, Raine and others that I can't think of right now.
34. Favorite boy's name?
McKinley, Mac, Rohan, Eirik, Xavier, Roran and others I can't think of right now.
Nothing. I couldn't even find lint.
Something in The Host.
This is a very strange question indeed. I only remember one set of sheets, so I guess that would make them the best. White with blue flowers.
Torticollis on my neck a couple months ago.
The city, yes. The house, not so much.
40. How many tvs do you have in your house?
Two, but no T.V. channels. Just videos or DVDs.
I try not to.
None.
None, and never will have. Allergic.
45. What is your favorite TV show?
Don't watch T.V., but wish I could watch American Idol.
Kit Kat or Cadbury Mini Eggs that come out at Easter!
Don't have one. I used to like to watch the Utah Jazz sometimes.
I am really fond of Be Still My Soul, but whatever would help those in attendance feel good is fine.
49. What were you doing 12 AM last night?
Reading The Host
50. What was your first thought as you awoke this morning?
"That was a yucky dream."
So, I would like to tag anyone who wants something to blog about and might be having problems with blogstipation. And more specifically, Britta, Rachel, Kristin, Britney and Beth!
1. how tall are you?
I'm 5'6".
2. What song makes you the happiest?
There's so many... music makes me happy. Right now it's I'm Yours and Lucky by Jason Mraz. Another that I can always count on is Goodnight and Go by Imogen Heap. Classic.
3. What is your favorite color?
Blue... this color, specifically (the pendant, not the webpage)
4. What is your least favorite food?
I'm a fairly adventurous eater... I am not sure if it's my LEAST favorite, but I don't like chicken. Weird, I know. It was a pregnancy-induced thing.
5. What was your first date with your husband like?
I'm rackin' my brain, but we never really went on a "date", I don't think. We sort of started hanging out with a bunch of people together. We all went rollerblading. I thought he was cute and AWESOME on his blades, and he thought I had a cute butt. I guess after hanging out a few times in a group we did go out alone together and you could consider that a "date". He showed up (unexpected) at my house, IN MY ROOM at about 8:00 am on a morning we didn't have school. I was in bed still! I was freaking out telling him to go away and he was bouncing off the walls saying stuff like, "C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!! Get up, get dressed! Let's go DOOOO something!!!!" I thought he was nuts, but I got up and got dressed and we went on a neat hike. It was in some weird place with giant trees on the west-side of Cache Valley. There were little tiny baby worms hanging from silk thread ALL over the trees. There were literally thousands and thousands of them. Dustin thought that was really cool. I thought it was creepy. I think we got some food after... breakfast or lunch? I don't really remember as I didn't feel like it was an official "date". Weird that I've never thought of our lack of a first date before...
What is your favorite breakfast food?
I love crepes with whipped butter and ligonberries. But I FEEL the best when I eat scrambled eggs on wheat toast. But I most often eat cereal... bran flakes or Frosted Mini Wheats.
If you had to run or walk which would you do?
I guess that depends on where I'm going! If I'm playing ultimate frisbee, I'm running. If I'm at the grocery store, I'm walking! ;) Hee hee. Are you talking for exercise? I would much prefer to run. I was a runner for a month or two in the summer and I was AMAZED to find that I absolutely loved it. Then I got sick and never got back to it... then my husband left town so I can't go unless I take the kids with me somehow.
I'll take some questions off a game called "crazy quandries" that I have at home:
I would rather always lose. I can't stand when there's playin' going on without me, and I'm competitive enough that I would figure out a way to win or die trying.
Would you rather take ten kindergarteners to the zoo, or take ten teens to a night club?
Hands DOWN I'd be takin' ten teens to a nightclub, and I'd be dancing with them!
Would you rather grow cat fur for facial hair every night, or have horrible chronic dog breath?
LOL! I've thought about this specific question long and hard for two days now... and I think I'd take the cat fur. I could have laser hair removal done. Although I am allergic to cats, so do you think I'd be allergic to myself? If that's the case then I'm going for the dog breath. I would kill myself if I had to walk around all day everyday being allergic to my own face... eyes always itching, always sneezing. Dog breath is better than death by my own hand, don't you think? Would you still be my friend if I had chronic dog breath? (I guess since we are blogging friends and you don't often *or ever* get the chance to speak to me, that's probably an affirmative, right?)
How did Dustin Propose??
We had gone roller-skating with our family home evening group. It was super fun... roller-limbo is burned into my memory. We had such a good time. I can't remember if we went and got dinner, but later we were just driving around and we went up on a mountain that overlooked Logan. It was super windy and cold (it was February 2... that's right, Groundhog Day!) and we sat in the car talking.
Dustin suddenly said, "You wanna get out for a minute?" I thought, "No freakin' way! It's freezing out there!" but I said, "Sure." We got out and walked around for a minute and he grabbed my shoulders, turned me around to face him and he said lots of sweet things to me that I will keep to myself. Then he pulled out a velvety little box, opened it, got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. I knew it was coming... not a real conscious thing until moments before, but I knew. When he asked, it almost felt like my life flashing before my eyes... very surreal. I remember thinking that I would remember this moment for the rest of my life... and how weird it was that this was happening to me. I was so young, although I didn't know I was young at the time, but I did know I didn't feel ready for that moment. And so, I said as much. I asked him if it would be ok if I said I don't know. He said, "I knew you would say that."
I waited six days to give him an answer. I don't think I've ever realized until this moment, typing this story, how that must have pained him. I knew it did, don't get me wrong, but just how difficult that must have been for him... the extent is just hitting me now.
I imagine that he hoped for that night to end very different than it did. He hoped to go home on cloud nine, engaged to his sweetheart. He hoped to go tell his friends and family that he was getting married. Instead, his night ended in torment wondering what my answer would be, and when it would come. He probably doubted himself and beat himself up while I was wrapped up in my own world trying to figure out if this was the right thing for me to do.
I didn't know how to decide and I was, quite frankly, scared. I don't remember anything about those six days except what went on in my mind. I don't remember if I was with Dustin at all during that week. I remember trying the ring on (he told me to hold on to it) and wearing it here and there, trying to imagine myself as engaged and married. I had some reconciling to do in my mind about someone that I had dated with whom things never officially ended (he went on a mission for our church and was still gone). I had a lot of other thoughts and prayers... it was not an easy time for me either. The whole week was surreal.