"Play Well"

I have a geometric thing. Geometry was my worst math subject, but that's not what I mean. I draw things in my mind. Lines across rooms... from corner to corner. I love to make triangles in my mind. The squares created by sidewalks... I make a big X in the middle of them and then I walk inside the triangles my mind creates. I was at a restaurant at closing time and they were mopping the floor. They would stack the chairs on top of the tables, one upside down on top of the other that was right side up. They made a perfect rectangle. It was so pleasing. I love the game Tetris. I love making those lines and trying to fill in all the wholes.

I do have a point to all of this. I think that this geo-thing that I have is the reason I SO love Legos!!! This was not always the case. We got Legos for Mac when he was, I believe, three years old. I didn't think much about them at that time. For Christmas a year or two later, we gave him a Lego creator set. Those are the ones that have something specific you can build. It was a car kit. That one I LOVED. I became obsessed. There were several cars to build and I built them all (for Mac, of course!) and then I started creating my own. Ella wanted all the same cars as Mac got, and there just weren't enough pieces for two of each, so I caved and bought Ella the same set! This was secretly a thrill for me! It doubled my cool car parts! So, we built happily for a while with what we had.

My brothers both had lots of Legos as kids. After they decided they were too grown up for them, my mom put them in her save-it-for-the-grandkids box. Then the grandkids started playing with them and she went crazy. She would find Legos all over the house. She decided that she didn't want them anymore and asked if we did. Yay!!! We now have a HUGE Lego collection! (not as big as Whipples, but big enough!)

Needless to say, my geometric obsession is satiated by building Legos and my kids think that's the greatest! Here are some of our creations! (and Rohan in his knight hood!)



And FYI... from Wikipedia-
The company name Lego was coined by [Ole Kirk] Christiansen from the Danish phrase leg godt, which means "play well". The name could also be interpreted as "I put together" or "I assemble" in Latin, though this would be a somewhat forced application of the general sense "I collect; I gather; I learn"; the word is most used in the derived sense, "I read". The cognate Greek verb "λέγω" or "lego" also means "gather, pick up", but this can include constructing a stone wall.[1]

The Lego Group's motto is "Only the best is good enough", translated from the Danish phrase, Det bedste er ikke for godt. This motto was created by Ole Kirk to encourage his employees never to skimp on quality, a value he believed in strongly. The motto is still used within the company today.

In Process....

OK... this is a very interesting process for me. If you want the whole story and you're just joining our "broadcast" you may want to read my first post on this subject called Food For Thought, and then read the comments, and then read the next post up called "I am" and the comments...

This is very exciting to me. First of all, Maria... I hope you don't mind, but as you are the catalyst for this process, I am going to be referring to you.

Here's what I've noticed about ME: I wrote the post "Food For Thought" and was excited to share something I thought was cool. Maria, my great new friend who is teaching me a lot about myself (whether she knows it or not), made some comments. I read her comments and my "ego" (as described by Eckart Tolle... GET THE BOOK!) or my "harsh inner voice" cringed and said... "Yep, see that's what happens when you say anything! Your friends think you're a retard and you ARE!!! You don't have a voice in this world and you are wrong! You should just delete this post!" (I know Maria, likely, didn't think any of that. That's just how I have operated my whole life) There are many mean things that that stupid voice said to me in those few seconds in which I read a few comments from a well meaning friend who loves discussion. (run-on sentence, I know...) Weird? Maybe so, but that's been my way, which has been fairly unconscious most of my life. I have only recently even heard the voice in my conscious mind.

So... in my way, I tried to "fix" things. That's what I do. (or have done in the past) I posted a new post trying to clarify what I meant, and make myself feel less retarded. Well, my friends, let me tell you what happened. I read and wrote and wrote some more. While doing that I clarified my own beliefs in my own heart. I felt good about what I wrote about.

Then, I check back in a little while. More comments from my friend Maria. But this time, because I was more clarified in what was truth for me... I didn't feel so vulnerable. I read her comments and the voice was not so loud. It did speak, and I heard it and didn't listen much. I was able to read her comments more objectively. I thought about replying to the comments, but I wasn't ready. I have thought on it all day and here's what I have discovered!!! I am so excited about this!

Maria posted this: I disagree with you though on one point. I think we are the collection of our experiences. Why else did we submit to a mortal probation. If we were perfect before we came, we would have no need of a testing ground here in order to achieve exaltation.

I thought about this as I was in the shower (best thinking place on earth). Firstly, I didn't say I was perfect before I came here. I only said that I was already who "I am" when I arrived. I believe that I came here as "ME" and that the submission to mortal probation is a necessary step.

In the shower, I thought about things from my past. My "ego" told me that Maria was right, (because it always tells me that I am wrong...) and that my past experiences do define who I am. I thought about that for a little bit. I thought about some of the things from my past. I started bawling as I tried to reconcile that those experiences ARE who I AM. I beat my fist against the tile as I cried out loud. I AM NOT MY MOTHER LOSING HER TEMPER. I AM NOT THOSE GIRLS IN SIXTH GRADE TELLING ME MY HAIR LOOKED LIKE A RAT'S NEST. I AM NOT MY SISTER SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF HER LUNGS THAT SHE HATED ME. I AM NOT THE TATTLE TALE LITTLE SISTER WHO'S BROTHER COULDN'T STAND HER. In those moments, crying in the shower, I learned that that is truth for me, and I know it from the bottom of my heart. My past experiences are my map for growth, but, I say again, who "I am" is not the collective of those experiences. Even the good experiences. I believe I CHOSE these lessons, in the same way, I believe, we choose our families. These are the only the lessons that "I" needed, and that is why they are in my past but they do NOT define "me", unless I let them. It is a choice... and THAT is what separates us from the rest of the creatures on this earth - choice.

Maria also said: And as for the voices, there are many trying to infiltrate our sense of worth and value. We need to trust our own inner voice, which if we believe in a Heavenly Father, is the resonation of His voice as well. We can't shut out all the voices, just the unimportant ones.

This is something I agree with wholeheartedly. The chatter in my mind comes mostly from that crappy voice that doesn't serve me in any good way... except to be the dark so I can know the light. And for that, I am grateful.

It has been such a blessing to have Maria leave her comments. Iron sharpens iron. Because of her input, I have been able to solidify what I believe. So, thanks Maria... Here's to future "discussions"!

"I am"

In my previous post, while I was fascinated by a statement from A New Earth, I believe I posted it a little preemptively. As I read further, I realized that I took it out of context. I don't know that I can make it make sense concisely, but I will make the effort, concise or not...

The very next paragraph (after the one I posted) says-

'The word "I" embodies the greatest error and the deepest truth, depending on how it is used. In conventional usage, it is not only one of the most frequently used words in the language (together with the related words: "me", "my", "mine", and "myself") but also one of the most misleading. In normal everyday usage, "I" embodies the primordial error, a misperception of who you are, and illusory sense of identity. This is the ego.....

[I am skipping a bit here]

What you usually refer to when you say "I" is not who you are. By a monstrous act of reductionism, the infinite depth of who you are is confused with a sound produced by the vocal cords or the thought of "I" in your mind and whatever the "I" has identified with. So what do the usual "I" and the related "me", "my", or "mine" refer to?

When a young child learns that a sequence of sounds produced by the parents' vocal cords is his or her name, the child begins to equate a word, which in the mind becomes a thought, with who he or she is. At that stage some children refer to themselves in the third person. "Johnny is hungry". Soon after, they learn the magic word "I" and equate it with their name, which they have already equated with who they are. Then other thoughts come and merge with the origianl I-thought. The next step are thoughts of me and mine to designate things that are somehow part of "I". This is identification with objects, which means investing things, but ultimately thoughts that represent things, with a sense of self, thereby deriving an identity from them. When "my" toy breaks or is taken away, intense suffering arises. Not because of any intrinsic value that the toy has- the child will soon lose interest in it, and it will be replaced by other toys, other objects- but becasue of the thought of "mine". The toy became part of the child"s developing sense of self, of "I".

And so as the child grows up, the original I-thought attracts other thoughts to itself: It becomes identified with a gender, possessions, the sense-perceived body, a nationality, race, religion, profession. Other things the "I" identifies with are roles - mother, father, husband, wife, and so on - accumulated knowledge or opinions, likes and dislikes, and also things that happened to "me" in the past, the memory of which are thoughts that further define my sense of self as "me and my story". These are only some of the things people derive their sense of identity from. They are ultimately no more than thought held together precariously by the fact that they are all invested with a sense of self. This mental construct is what you normally refer to when you say "I".'

There is so much more beyond that... but in the interest of trying to be somewhat concise, I will stop there. Just FYI... beyond that he does allow that he is not saying that any of this is good or bad, it is just the ego. It is simply the structure of it and how it gets created, which I completely agree with. If this interests you in any way, get the book and read it, and then we can discuss it, each with our own interpretation and understanding of what is being said! :)

So, in my previous post "Food For Thought", the main part I was fascinated by was the part I bold-typed. Do you believe some combination of such basic sounds could ever explain who you are? I was, in no way, negating words. I love words. I love to read them and I love to write them. I am passionate about putting them together in a way that is pleasing. But I am also starting to understand that the words that flow through my head... the constant chatter I hear... the harsh voice that pummels me when I feel inadequate (which is most of the time)... is NOT who "I" am. That is just my past. That is just the combination of circumstances that has helped shape me and give me the experiences I need for growth, but who "I am" is not the collective of those experiences. I came to this earth who "I am". I was a unique individual the second I took a breath (and even before that!). I hadn't had any of those experiences that I "think" define me, yet I was still who I AM. "I am" a piece of God. I have Him in my spiritual genetic makeup and that is what I am figuring out how to access. And to do that, I have to tell that chatter to SHUT UP sometimes. I can't hear who I really am when all that chatter is going on.

So... it's all a process. I certainly haven't even come close to "figuring out" what I am trying to explain here, but there is an awareness there which is the first step and opens doors to learn more.

I don't even know if I am making sense, here. I can't tell you how it terrifies me to think of publishing this post. That is one of those fears that my "ego" screams at me about. It tells me that I am an idiot to think I have a "voice" in this world. And to that, I am learning to say, "SHUT UP!"

Food For Thought...

The quicker you are in attaching verbal or mental labels to things, people, or situations, the more shallow and lifeless your reality becomes, and the more deadened you become to reality, the miracle of life that continuously unfolds within and around you. In this way, cleverness may be gained, but wisdom is lost, and so are joy, love, creativity, and aliveness. They are concealed in the still gap between the perception and the interpretation. Of course we have to use words and thoughts. They have their own beauty- but do we need to become imprisoned in them?

Words reduce reality to something the human mind can grasp, which isn't very much. Language consists of five basic sounds produced by the vocal chords. They are the vowels a, e, i, o, u. The other sounds are consonants produced by air pressure: s, f, g, and so forth. Do you believe some combination of such basic sounds could ever explain who you are, or the ultimate purpose of the universe, or even what a tree or stone is in its depth?

-Eckart Tolle, A New Earth (bold phrase emphasized by me)


And I said unto him: Lord, the Gentiles will mock at these things, because of our weakness in writing; for Lord thou hast made us mighty in word by faith, but thou hast not made us mighty in writing; for thou hast made all this people that they could speak much, because of the Holy Ghost which thou hast given them;

Ether 12: 23, Book of Mormon

I read this bit in A New Earth and was reminded of the scripture in Ether. It seems to me that this is why they talk of their "weakness in writing". How can you speak of things of the spirit with a weak "mortal" or "physical" vehicle such as words, whether written or spoken? Just some food for thought.

A Whitewashed Easter

Easter weekend was a fun and busy one for us. My sister, brother-in-law, niece and nephew came up from Salt Lake. It seemed like all we did all weekend was cook, eat and then wash dishes. This was our egg hunt outside at my Mom's place. I was cooking Easter dinner with my mom and sent my sweet Dustin out to take pictures. I don't quite understand it, but for some strange reason I am the only one in our house who knows how to take pictures that turn out normal! Easter did not look quite so spooky or dreamlike (take your pick) in real life. It was sunny, but not quite that sunny! Anyway, this is all we got. I didn't even get a picture of our kids in their cute Easter clothes because I had to slip away right after church to go do choir practice! By the time I got back the kids were all changed, and I was totally and completely surprised (right) to find that Dustin had not taken their picture in their Easter duds. (I think it must be a "mom" thing!)

Anyway, it was a fun day and I will have the kids wear their Easter clothes next Sunday and snap a few photos... ;)

How Bad Do YOU Want the Cheese?

I have to say that this is one of the funniest things I've ever seen! People and their antics never cease to amaze me. A "race" to the finish "line"... the prize? A cheese wheel. You get to see the winner at the end! On your marks... get set... ROLL!

What If?

In casual conversation with a friend of mine I mentioned that I had never seen The Sound of Music. She was, to put it mildly, appalled. She took it as a personal affront that had never seen this musical and I am a "singer". The two ideas could not mix in her brain. I was simply amused by her reaction, but she took it as her personal mission to remedy this paradox. So, we set a date, and our families watched it together. I quite liked it, but after her STRONG reaction, have tried to evaluate why I had never seen this classic. Here's what I've come up with:

MOTHER'S! The influence of some mothers over their children is akin to a force of nature, like say, the pull of gravity. My mom's influence was this way for me. It was very hard for me to resist! My mom DID NOT care for musicals. I secretly liked them, but my own fears of disapproval won out and I just didn't watch them much. In my awesome Mom's defense, she has sound reason (no pun intended!) for her dislike. She always thought how silly it was that people would break out into song in the middle of a street with vendors all around or while professing your undying love. She thought it was silly and, quite frankly, I agreed... but that didn't stop me from loving the romance of it. I would sing every emotion, if I could, because it makes me feel good. Unfortunately, (or fortunately!) we can't all live in a musical. But what if we could...




And FYI... as I am now an adult, I am figuring out that I am ok with being me, and I will say it proudly - I love musicals in all their dripping cheesiness!!

Not Much To Say

Sitting here surrounded by myself.
Feeling alone and wondering why.
Screams and laughter of children trickle through the floor boards.

How to give them what they need when what I need eludes me.
Like putting together a puzzle without a finished picture to look at.
Where's the model?
What's the next step?

How Do YOU Spell Relief?

I don't know about you, but to me, RELIEF is spelled S-I-G-N-E-D C-O-N-T-R-A-C-T!


Yes, that's right. We signed a contract with our latest new tenants today!! I am so glad! This apartment has been vacant since the beginning of December. During the major cold snap in January (you know the one where it was, like, 20 below zero!!) we had the faucet running so the pipes wouldn't freeze, but the trap in the drain froze in the kitchen sink!!! So, imagine running water (well, it turned into more of a dripping than a running of water) with a frozen drain. NOT GOOD! We didn't go check on it enough and when Dustin went over there he found ice flows that went over the edge of the sink, down onto the floor and down into the basement. There were icicles hanging from the ceiling downstairs! That was NOT one of our best days of 2008!

The water ended up ruining the sub-floor under the linoleum. (wow... I guess I've never written the word linoleum... I bet I spelled it wrong 10 times before I finally googled how to spell it! weird...!) So, we had to tear up the floor and tile it. That was thrilling. So, not only did we go through all of January, February and most of March without income on this place, but we were spending money to fix the floor, run the lights, and heat the place!

Needless to say, I am feeling very content right now because someone now gets the lucky privilege of paying me to live there!!!

Getting apartments rented is GOOD!!

My Future Claim to Fame

So, my friend has made a movie! How cool is that? I can't wait to see it! Here is the trailer. Watch and then tell your friends! Get the YouTube ratings up! Spread the word! Tell EVERYONE you know!! As Rachel said, "If you don't do this within 5 seconds, you will be cursed with bad luck, bad breath, bad hair, bad attitude, badminton, bad karma, bad sex, and bad friends. While you're at it, you mind as well send all your passwords, social security numbers, account numbers and tithing to EVERYONE you know as well . . . or you must not . . . well, you get the point."

Good Times With

Isn't it funny how there's people we meet with whom we get along great... we really like being around them and have a lot in common, so we say things to each other like, "We should hang out some time." or "We should have a barbecue sometime!" Then "some time" never comes because we all have lives that are busy, and the next time you see each other you say those "let's hang out" phrases again. And the cycle just continues.

Well, my dear friends, I saw this vicious cycle in embryo with my cute friend, Rachel. We were together for a little while and decided that we should definitely do dinner or something. As she was leaving, she said, "We should pick a day to do dinner right now, or it'll never happen!" (or something close to that!) Good call, Rachel! We picked a tentative date and I said I'd call her after I checked with Dustin. I was tempted to just let the day come and go because it has been SUCH a busy week and I've been so tired... but I didn't want it to turn into a "we should hang out" cycle. So... I checked with Dust and called her back with confirmation.

And I am so glad we did! Tonight Rachel and I broke the "we-should-hang-out" barrier as we went over to their darling house and ate a delicious dinner of slow-roasted, TENDER pork roast, baked red potatoes, salad and rolls. The food was incredible and the company even better. We had so much fun! Our kids played, squealed and chased in circles while Rachel, Nels, Dustin and I laughed for two hours straight. It was good times at their best!

I am so glad that Rachel and I decided to break through that barrier in our friendship and actually hang out! Hopefully it won't be long before we are doing it again!

Rachel, thanks again for the dinner and an even bigger thanks for being my friend! :)

And the Floodgates Have Opened!

Okay... (deep breath)... I know I should expect this. I knew it would come someday. But now that it is nearly upon me I am panicking!

Mac was sitting on the floor of the living room. I can't remember what we were talking about, but all conversation was casual and comfortable. Out of the blue, I heard Mac quietly say, "I think that Mom is Santa Claus too." His little sister was sitting right there in the same room with us, and I couldn't help but shoot him a look that said 'Put a lid on it!!!'. I didn't outright acknowledge what he said, but I'm thinking my look said it all. "Don't tell your sister what you're sharp little brain has figured out correctly!" was, in essence, what I said with that one brief look.

The tooth fairy revelation has now made him question everything. The floodgates are open in the mind of my seven and a half year old. He's no dummy, and I thought this would happen after I told him who the stinkin' tooth fairy was. I am trying to decide if I should tell him, 'No, I'm not Santa Claus.' (It's Dustin who makes the money to buy all the presents Santa brings!) It feels more magical for me to have them believe.

Or should I tell him and hope he won't tell my sweet Ella? Should I just hope he'll give her a few more years of Santa Magic? I don't know what to do! Input would be appreciated!!!

You wanna know the weirdest part? When I first gave birth to this precious boy, I didn't want to have Santa visit our house. I planned to tell the story of Nicholas and tell what Santa represents, and then let them know that we would be acting the part of Nicholas on Christmas Eve. I didn't want to lie to my kids. Well, I tried that when Mac was young. He believed anyway. He believed in Santa without my telling him a bit of a lie. I told him what would be happening and he still thought it was someone else coming and bringing gifts. It was a crazy thing, and so I went with it. Now that it's all coming full circle, I'm the one upset that I might have to have him NOT believe!

Ahh... the mess we get ourselves in to when we don't tell the truth!

Royalty is Gracing My House Today...

I wish I could still think that dress-ups were entertaining. I keep watching my kids- Ella in particular- using their wild imaginations to make everything they do FUN! (well, we're still working on making washing the dishes or cleaning the living room fun... Mom is in charge of the imagination on that part!) This morning, they wanted to play in our Halloween costume box. This is the box that I put all of our past Halloween costumes, and as you can imagine, it provides hours of entertainment for those bright young minds! What cracks me up is that all the costumes are getting too small for them. I made this dress for Princess Ella in 2005. So, two and a half years ago that dress came down to the floor on her. It won't be too long before it won't zip up in the back.

While Rohan... his frog costume (which I did NOT make... that credit goes to Old Navy) was one all my kids wore for their FIRST Halloween. I believe that it is a 0-6 month size! LOL!! I'm not sure if you can see how tight those arms are... his little hands are bunched up in those webbed froggie mits! He can't even wear the legs. Yes, it's a full body suit for a baby. He's been wearing it for hours and just fell asleep in it. I tried to take off the hood so I could get his arms out, and he screamed in his sleep, "MY MASK!!! WEEV MY MASK AWONE!!" I guess he's sleeping in it!


I just thought I'd throw these pics in for a little pers-
pective. This was the actual Halloween of 2005. See Rohan in the frog costume? He's just a wee bit bigger now, don't ya think? And Ella... see the dress to the floor? (don't look at her sneakers sticking out of the bottom. Her dad was in charge of getting her shoes before we left the house and she got Mac's old tennis shoes!)
Mac was at school while they were playing dress-ups, but were he here he'd be wearing his knight costume as well. Knight, princess and the frog-prince! What a cute set of royalty!

Holy Missing Teeth, Batman!

So, the tooth fairy strikes again... or doesn't. It's pretty sad that Mac knows about the tooth fairy now.

It wasn't but a few days after front tooth #1 came out that front tooth #2 was torn from my son's smile! His tooth was kinda dangley, definitely snaggley where just days before it was barely loose. Weird.

Anyway, I offered to pull it for him that night. (I was trying to be brave. It somehow bothered me that his teacher was tough enough to pull his tooth, but I was squeamish.) He must sense fear because he would have none of it from Mom. He just said, "Naa, I'll just have my teacher pull it out tomorrow."

Needless to say, he came home from school with no front teeth, and a gappy smile from ear to ear! He said this one took the teacher 3 tries to pull, and he cried a little. The root was tougher I guess...

Anyway... later he brought his tooth to me in a bag and, in a sing-song voice, said, "Oh TOOOOOTH FAIRRRRRYYYYYYY!!!! Can I have my dollar?"

The little stinker now makes demands of his tooth fairy! :)

Gotta Get Me One!

Ok.. this is the coolest thing ever!!! Have you ever heard of the AmazonKindle? I WANT ONE!!! This is the new technology for books and it looks way cool!!

Of course, this will never substitute for a real, honest to goodness hard-bound book. I love the way a hard-bound book feels in my hand... the weight of it... the smell. I love books. I am passionate about them.

But.... :) The convenience of the Kindle could be darn cool!

Check it out.... CLICK HERE!!! (watch the video demonstration, too)

Non-stop!!

How does a house get so out of control? Where did all this crap come from in my basement? Why don't I see things until they're completely taking over?

I have been cleaning today. I would love to be a part of some group like AA, but for people with a perpetually messy house. I need a twelve step program. I need a mentor and I need accountability!!! Ugh!

I have been cleaning non-stop since about 10:15 this morning and it is now 6:01 pm! I've made some excellent progress. I had a good sized cardboard box that I filled with junk for the D.I. (thrift store). I not only filled it but piled it as high as my shoulder (approximately)! And that was not even today's work, it was the other day. Dustin took that box to the D.I. this morning and then I filled a large, black garbage bag with toys and clothes and such that is waiting to go BYE BYE!!!

Do you ever feel like throwing EVERYTHING in your house away? I guess is Spring Fever, but I am just itchin' to de-junk my house. I read a great book called Hidden Treasures and it talks about "The Vacuum Law of Prosperity". I've been testing it out today! I am ditching that green recliner that I have "saved" for our family room that we are going to have when we finally get around to remodeling our basement. I don't even like the chair, but I've "saved" it for our family room that doesn't exist yet! Silly! Anyway... it's going AWAY now, and I'm excited!

Winds of Change...

While I don't necessarily agree with every bit of this program, I think it had some incredible and powerful messages. This little clip of this 20 minute video just made me grind my teeth! If you would like to see the whole video, which is, in my opinion, worth watching, (It takes a very liberal stance... I can just hear Dustin's voice in my head!) click here.
I am sickened that this was ENGINEERED, though I don't doubt it for a second. Between this and the public school system, we have a lot of work to do!!!

The winds of change are blowing... tousling my hair, whispering in my ear...

Procrastination, Blogging and Habits

I've discovered that blogging is a wonderful form of procrastination! If any of you are worried because you are struggling with not getting enough procrastination in your life, just start a little blog, and you will have a fantastic solution to avoid all the things you need to be doing!

Just kidding... sort of. I just need to be getting all my numbers and reports put together for TAXES, and here I sit, blogging! Yes, we have an appointment with our accountant tomorrow. I should be doing it as fast and as furious as I can so that I can get a refund sooner... but, what can I say? I am an excellent procrastinator.

What is it about a deadline looming and a close shave that draws me? Is it the excitement? The adrenaline of near misses? Is it that I love pain and frustration... a bit of a masochist?

No... I am just being rhetorical. I know the answer already. It is simply habit. I am not in the habit of getting things done ahead of time and it is a habit I am going to KICK, or die trying!

The Tooth Fairy is an Idiot!

So... We all enjoyed the exciting news that Mac lost one of his front teeth. As he was going to bed that night, he asked me (as he has several times before) who the tooth fairy is. I always respond with, "Who do you think the tooth fairy is?" That night was no exception, and he promptly said, "You."
To which I just hmmmmmmmed. He kept saying all of this in the presence of his little sister, who doesn't question such things yet. I was trying to pass him the hint to ask me when she wasn't around but it wasn't getting through.
I finally knelt down next to his bed and, whispering, asked him if he really wanted to know who the tooth fairy was. He said yes and I whispered, "It is me." His sweet face was a mixture of triumph and let down. Strangely, he sort of giggled and said, "I thought you were going to say it was Aunt Bronwyn!" (who is MY aunt.... weird, no?)

I was up dipping until VERY late that night. Off and on I kept remembering that I needed to go get his tooth and exchange it for a dollar. I finally thought, "I'd better do it now so that I don't forget!" and I went and got the tooth. I didn't have a dollar on me and didn't want to go upstairs just yet, so I set it on the stairs to remind me when I went to bed. (It was in a bag... not just a lone tooth!) I know that YOU know where this is going... I FORGOT!!! I went to bed without putting the dollar under his little pillow!

I woke up in the morning to Mac telling me that the tooth fairy (who he now knows is his MOTHER) forgot to come! He said this with a dollar bill in his hand. I asked him where the dollar came from and he said, "Ella felt bad, so she gave me her dollar that she got from her last tooth that she lost."

Say it with me now.... I-D-I-O-T! I felt so dumb! I guess I was glad that he knew it was me so that his dreams weren't crushed... I could just say how sorry I was and tell him to reach into the pocket of my pants (that were on the floor) and pull out his own tooth-fairy-payoff!

And it comes as no surprise that he told his little sister all about who the tooth fairy is who forgot to do her job!!! But, just between you and I.... I don't think she believes him! ;)

My Crazy Crazy Brain...

When I was a young kid- maybe 4 or 5 years old- I thought there was little monkeys that lived squished inside of stoplights. They were the ones who made the lights change colors. To make them change they would move their hand from one light to the other and hold it there until it was time to change to another color. I remember turning around to look at the traffic lights after we went through them and I could swear I saw a the outline of a monkey's hand...
I learned later, if you can believe it, that I was mistaken... stoplights are changed by timers or tripped by cars! But I've always maintained that monkeys squeezed inside the stoplights sounded much more interesting.


Did you know that my great grandfather died in a car wreck on the busy cross street below my house called 13th East before I was born? This wreck was unique because he was driving along and had to swerve to miss something which made his car go up on the two passenger-side wheels. He drove on those two wheels (just like in a movie) for a split second before his car flipped all the way over. He didn't survive the crash. You see, below 13th East is a very steep hill, and his car rolled down it. It was terrible.

Yeah... that's what I believed until I was about 13 years old. I have no idea what made that memory up, but it turns out my great grandfather died of stomach cancer!

I think, mostly, my imagination is more interesting than real life!

Chiclets Descending!

There was a little girl I taught in Sunday School who referred to her brand-new-oversized-for-her-seven-year-old-face two front teeth as "Chiclets". You know how kids' front teeth look all big and square and white... and too big for their mouth until they grow into them? I thought it was a hilarious description, and it stuck in my mind...

Anyway, Mac's big "chiclets" are on their way! He came home from school today thrilled with a new hole in his smile! He lost the first of his two front teeth! And he informed me that his "expert tooth-pulling teacher, who is a girl" pulled his tooth! He said, "She washed her hands, got a paper towel, grabbed my tooth and YANKED! Then it bled everywhere!" All this was said with his extra huge grin, and trademark smiling eyes! He's so cute!

So, the tooth fairy will, likely, be visiting our house tonight!

There's Nothin' Like Smellin' Like Chocolate!

It's pretzel time again, kids!!! And with pretzels time, comes insomnia! Yes, it is currently 2:08 a.m. I still have to get up in the normal a.m. hours and package the pretzels. Thank goodness for my lovely hubby's help. I wouldn't have made it without him!!! Just thought I'd post a few pics of the wretched things that keep me up so late!!!

Pretzels waiting to be packaged!

Tell you the truth, I am grateful that I smell of caramel and chocolate, because that means some extra money to help out! I need to quit my whining about pretzel time. It is such a blessing!

Apples and Caramel Pecan Bars..... already packaged and ready to roll!!!

Don't they look cute and springy? I think Spring is my favorite for the ties! They make me happy with their bright cheery colors!

Happy Wednesday!