Reader Tribulation

So, there's some blogs I read.   I used to think they were awesome.  Or something.   For whatever reason, awesome or not, I subscribed to them in Google Reader.  I've since decided they are un-awesome.  Or, at the very least, irrelevant and gumming up the grease in the quest for simplifying my life.  (QUEST, I tell you!)  So, like a good Simplification-Questerian, I went to my little "manage subscriptions" button in Reader and I unsubscribed to several previously-important blogs. 

I'll have you know, taking that step relaxed my mentally faculties. I refreshed my little Reader page and discovered less to read.  Less is more, don't you know?

A week or so went by and I experienced blissful simplicity via Google Reader. 

Until.

Google Reader began thinking for itself.  We might be dealing with some sort of A.I. here, folks. 

Right there, in my Reader feed, were those blogs that had fallen through the cracks of pertinence.  Those blogs I had eliminated from my brain-clutter had returned.  Why?  I don't know. 

So, I repeated the process.  Unsubscribe.  No thanks, lovely blogs. 

Again, I went on my merry, on-the-path-to-the-simple-life way. 

A week-ish passed again... log in to Reader...

THEY'RE BA-A-A-A-A-CK!!!! 

Seriously? 

Seriously.

I have now gone through this process three times.  And tonight, once again, the blogs are back. 

DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND, READER!!!?????  

Just let me be, blogs.  Get thee hence.   Please!? 

I am mystified.

Over It?

I thought I was over my comment infatuation.  I thought I was ok.  Only 1 comment on my blog post?  I'm fine.  Life is ok.  My self-worth has ZERO to do with my comment boxes on my blog posts.  I keep telling myself these things. 

I have no one to blame but myself.  The grit in my teeth after my hard face-plant off the blogging wagon would be my first clue.  But I find myself looking at the 0 comments and feeling crestfallen.

Maybe there's still a part of me that isn't over it.

And really, that just makes me laugh at myself.  Big-belly-laugh kind of laughs.  HHHHAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA!!!

Let's not take us too seriously, Clancy.  Mmmmkay? 

Good idea.  Let's just love blogging and blog for our mental health and our posterity.  Sound good?

Sounds perfect.

(Mental health might be questionable as Clancy and I carry on a conversation, but we never said what state our mental health had to be in...) 

Happy, haPPy, hAppY WedNEsDay!

*Post Edit: This is not a request for sympathy comments, much as it may sound like it is.  It was really just a laugh-at-my-own-ridiculousness kind of post.  Come on, really.  Who wraps their self worth around blog comments...  HAHAHA!!!  (ha) Anyway, this post now has enough comments the self-worth meter is sated.  If you are moved to tears and simply must leave a sympathy comment, please search my blog and find some post that has 0 comments and leave a comment on that post.  :o) 

(You know what's hard to convey sometimes on a blog?  Sarcasm.)

Apparently

Apparently I'm not writing the important things, so I'll blather.

Apparently I'm not doing the daily tasks, so I Facebook.

Apparently I'm not keeping straight, so I visit my chiropractor.

Apparently I'm not keeping my dishes washed, so I shrug.

Apparently I was trying to be poetic but I keep falling on my face again and again and the backspace button is my new best friend and apparently I decided to forget about being poetic and, rather, write one big run-on sentence about nothing in particular while I notice the clock and think to myself that it's time to go pick up Ella and why am I still sitting here and then I answer myself and say that it's because I actually FEEL like writing something and that hasn't happened in so long I almost forgot how to do it and so I reply again that it's ok and Ella is fine to wait for two minutes with her friends outside the school under the supervision of teachers while I spew a bit of useless information in a run-on sentence but realize that it may be useless to the casual reader, but vital to my own mental health because apparently useless information is dripping from my brain like a leaky faucet and it must come out. 

Apparently I'm not finished with my blog, so I smile.

Happenings

Yesterday I was talking with a friend of mine, Beckie, who is one of the most ambitious and creative people I've ever had the pleasure to know.  I would tell you to go look at her blog and see all the projects she is ALWAYS doing, but she's a private blogger, so you'll just have to take my word for it.  She's amazing. 

Beckie was telling me yesterday how she's redecorating her boys' bedroom.  Stars Wars themed.  Too cool!  She proceeded to list all the things she was doing to redecorate and telling me about the amazing deals she found on fabric, bedspreads, pillows (which she's having someone embroider "A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away..." on them!), and telling me about the paint and color schemes she's laid out.  As she spoke (on the phone) I had a vision of Beckie on one of those redesign-your-space-on-a-budget type of shows.  Trading Spaces is coming to mind, but maybe that show isn't even on anymore?  I don't know as I don't have TV.  Anyway, I said as much to her that she should have her own show.  She might have thought I was joking, but I was deadly serious.  I wonder if I could be her first "victim"?  My house needs some serious love in the decorating department.

Anyway, the point to all this is that when I told her this, she told me it's just her hobby.  Her house is a canvas and she is the artist.  It's always beautiful and it's always morphing into the next awesome project.  If I'm being honest with myself, I feel twinges of jealousy and that self-deprecating voice in my head starts yapping when I talk to Beckie about (or see) her latest project.  I wish I had some of her creativity!  And her motivation.  I don't do the decorating thing very well.  Maybe I would if I ever gave myself the chance, but it just never seems to be a priority as there's always something else pulling at my time and my finances.  And, as long as I'm being honest, I will say that I don't do motivation well either, which is a requirement for projects like Beckie does.  I'm a procrastinator through and through and I seem to function best and get the most done with a looming deadline to spur me along.  

Ok, I'm getting off track again.  Have I ever mentioned I'm a sucker for tangents too?  My husband (among others) gets very frustrated when I'm telling a story because I start telling five other stories amid the first story I started.  Kinda like right now, how I'm telling you about tangents.  It doesn't take much.  Anything shiny and I'm distracted!  (At least that's what Dustin says, in jests of love.)

So, the real point is that, in talking to Beckie, I started to wonder what I have been doing lately?  I voiced that thought aloud and started to say how I blog a lot, but then I stopped myself mid-sentence, because, no, I don't really do much of that lately, do I?  I haven't seen my friends much.  I haven't been cleaning much.  I haven't been doing anything much and I'm really not sure what it is that I do all the time!  Beckie pointed out that I do homeschool my son, and there's truth in her words.  That does take up a large chunk of my time, energy and focus, but I feel like there should be more.  I should have something to show for the end of the day, right?  Something for me? 

So, that's been on my mind.  I've been trying to figure out what it is I do all the time.  I've decided, since it's a new year and all that...(I'm not much of a goal setter, if you  haven't guessed)...  I'll try blogging again!  I might never be the blogger I once was.  I might never have that daily muse come and write essays across the parchment of my mind, but I can try, darn it! 

So, I think I'll try to blog a little more.  Blog about what's been happening around my house, in my life and in my brain for the last few weeks (months... whatever...) 

What I'm trying to say is stick around a while!  Be on the lookout for more postings on this, here, blog.

I'm Having a Problem with Titles

So, I have some things to say, but I am suddenly at a loss how to title my posts. In the past, my titles would come out before I even started the post. They were self-titled-posts. They knew their names.

Now I stare at the title box like I used to stare at my empty blog post box. I can't name them all "__________Fill in the Blank", now can I?

Maybe my blogging is healing. First I forgot what to say in the big white box. Now I just can't think of what to say in the little white box. Progress is good.

But that's not really why I came here to this computer chair today.

I have some things to say.

Since my last post I've been feeling much better. I think I did just need a good cleansing cry, as many of you suggested. The catalyst was vague. I can't even remember it now, if I ever could. But now, it's just gone. I felt better the next day. And the next, and so on.

Just thought I'd share that since I keep leaving my blog on such a sour note.

☺

Second thing on the random list.

Columbus Day. What the heck? I was thinking, yesterday, as Ella brought her ultra-cute Columbusy art project home, 'Why the heck do we celebrate this day? Why do banks and post-offices close for this day?'

I don't know. But I do know that I had all these thoughts and then read my friend Larrie's post and almost fell out of my chair laughing. Maybe the funnyness was so great because of my mood and my previous thoughts. And maybe your position in your computer chair won't be compromised like mine nearly was as I read her post, but I think you should read it all the same... because Larrie is awesome.

I Really Don't Know

It's been so weird for me lately. I look at the "New Post" button on my blog and I just stare at it. I don't understand why I have so little to say.

Now I just typed that sentence and I sat there and stared at it wondering, what do I say next? I used to have blog-post ideas pop into my head forty-three-thousand times per day. I had to keep a notebook with me and jot them down so I wouldn't forget. Now, I got nothin'. I don't know what I think of all day everyday, but whatever it is goes in and out of my head like water on sand.

Why am I so quiet? I don't understand it, but it is what it is. Cycles. Time and season and all that stuff...

Dear Blog,

I'm sorry for my persistent absence. I have left you alone far too much, and it simply can't be good for you. I have been worried about someone reporting me for blog-neglect. That's so selfish, really. I'm worried about myself when you're the one who's hurting!

Even though I haven't been around, I think of you. I think of you in between all the other thoughts that have been swimming circles in my head. I've had a lot on my mind and it's all very crowded in my skull. Really, I should be hashing it all out with you, my stalwart friend, but for inexplicable reasons, I've been unable.

I told you once before that I look for silver linings. Do you remember that? Actually, I think it was my last post, just over a week ago. Well, I'm looking for them now and, in spite of your neglect, guess what I've found? Balance. At least a little bit... Along with more sleep. You have been telling me for a while now that I need to get more sleep and I'm finally obliging. Hopefully I can continue on this track because it's healthier for both of us. Wait patiently for me, Blog, as I'm sure I will be back, in force, once I figure out this phase of my life. (it's all an illusion, you know... just when I figure it out, a new phase rears it's head, ready to be tackled...)

Thanks for listening, Blog. I really have missed you and I hope to be feeling better soon.

Love,
Clancy


P.S. I miss my hubby... fiercely.

Happy 250th Post to "A Day in the Life of Clancy"

I just had to commemorate this momentous occasion with a little love letter to my Blog.

Dear Blog,
How well you've served me! Ferreting out my hidden motives, and teaching me to look inside of myself, you've allowed me to remember that I like to create. 250 posts of random thoughts that I would've forgotten had you not been here to listen. I sit here this night with a burned hand and wonder how I should tell you about it. Shall I be funny, or shall I be dramatic? If I don't write it, no one will know it happened. At least not a hundred years from now.

And so, Blog, you are my gift to myself. You are my memory. Soon you will pour out your cyber-treasure onto paper and become a book. And I care not if another soul ever reads it because I will. I promise.

Guilt likes to rear it's ugly little head now and then. Guilt loves to tell me that I should tell you more about my kids and my daily life and document every event, birthday, holiday and parking ticket. But I am ultimately selfish and I want to incessantly talk about me! I want to tell you all about all the weird meanderings of my mind. I want to tell you my dreams. I want to tell the world, through your pages, who I am and what my life is. I want to write in code when I am hurt so no one need know the why and how, but you and me. I want to send messages of love and hope and joy into moments that I don't even know exist yet, because they haven't been read yet by the one who gleans the joy.

When your life started, I had no idea what we would become. And I think I still have no idea of the evolution of your creation. We are going big, Blog. We're going to be something. You are special, and that's why you're here. Because I love you.

Comment Games!

So, we all know I love comments! They are so fun! I love to leave comments too... as any of my fellow bloggers know! (commentorhea, Rachel?)

Seems as though most of us have the word verification option set up on our blog where, before the comment will save, you have to type in a funky, sqiggly or distorted word. I used to think they were annoying. After a while I found myself saying what it said out loud trying to make it be a real word. As more time passed, I noticed that some of the more legible ones, I would make up definitions to the word. So, it turns out, I think they are pretty fun! Here is a little list of a few of the goofy things that have come out of my little game. Feel free to add your own anytime!!!


lawgy- groups of people that hang out in courtrooms just for fun.

xtaks- An alphabet movie for kids where the X's attack all the other letters and tries to take over the alphabet.

yeevx- The part of the body that you didn't know could be sore until you did too much yoga with Rodney Yee.

xcsef- The word "except" as abbreviated by children or people that talk too fast.

ttruja- People with certain types of accents saying the words, "True, ya..."

beazwkls- None of your beazwkls!

ubarah- The terrorist that attacks on the Yogi Bear show.

hagacy- the trail of grumpy people that a hag leaves behind in her wake.

ghaxp- gasping with a hiccup.

hyijwya- Indian name for highway

figabo- what Jodie Foster in the movie Nell said when she wanted a fig newton

Procrastination, Blogging and Habits

I've discovered that blogging is a wonderful form of procrastination! If any of you are worried because you are struggling with not getting enough procrastination in your life, just start a little blog, and you will have a fantastic solution to avoid all the things you need to be doing!

Just kidding... sort of. I just need to be getting all my numbers and reports put together for TAXES, and here I sit, blogging! Yes, we have an appointment with our accountant tomorrow. I should be doing it as fast and as furious as I can so that I can get a refund sooner... but, what can I say? I am an excellent procrastinator.

What is it about a deadline looming and a close shave that draws me? Is it the excitement? The adrenaline of near misses? Is it that I love pain and frustration... a bit of a masochist?

No... I am just being rhetorical. I know the answer already. It is simply habit. I am not in the habit of getting things done ahead of time and it is a habit I am going to KICK, or die trying!

Blang!

I just Googled the term "blogrolling" and I found the funniest thing on Wikipedia. Quoted from the link below... "This is a list of blogging terms. Blogging, like any hobby, has developed something of a specialized vocabulary"
Hence, the title of this entry! Blang is my very own specialized term for Blog Slang!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_blogging_terms

I never knew there was a name for those days you log on to your blog and feel like you should blog about something, but you can't think of anything (which is frequent for me!). Here's the "official" definition:

Blogstipation

The state of being unable to think of any topic to blog about, leading to irregular, strained blog entries. A rush of interesting events can clear the block; this is sometimes known as a blenema.

Or how about:

Bloglet

A small blog entry, usually one or two sentences long.

Or maybe you might recognize this one from my entry titled Laundry Piles Pay......

Blogorrhea

A portmanteau of "blog" and "logorrhea", meaning excessive and/or incoherent talkativeness in a weblog.

And, incidentally, I didn't know what logorrhea meant, so I clicked the above Wiki link and laughed as I read this fitting description of my "laundry" entry....

The spoken form of logorrhoea (in the non-medical sense) is a kind of verbosity that uses superfluous or fancy words to disguise a useless or simple message as useful or intellectual, and is commonly known as “verbal diarrhea” or “diarrhea of the mouth.”

Ha! I love the internet.

:)