Then and Now

I used to want to write all the time.
Now I all I seem to want to do is sleep.

I used to spend a lot of time on the computer blogging.
Now I spend a lot of time on the computer looking at lesson plans for my son.

I used to feel like I had a fair amount of free time.
Now I feel like there's not enough time in the day to do it all.

I used to get sick of dipping pretzels before I even started.
Now I get sick of pretzels before I'm even started. Umm... wait a second...

I used to not mind dipping so much once I got started.
I guess two things haven't changed.

9:50 p.m. used to feel like the night was just beginning.
Now I can't wait to go to bed 50 minutes ago.



I'm just going to package some pretzels and then I'm going to get my Zzzz's. Night night.

Manic Monday: Under

For Kristin


Stepping Stones to Now

No matter how long you have to prepare, nothing can prepare you.
The vacant space left behind leaves a hollow place in your heart.
Hollow, but not void of pain.
The pain tears at your chest while you smile, and cope, and continue living your life.
Life goes on, but often that wound tries to pull you under.

Time heals all wounds, yet time is an illusion.
All there is is Now.
Now is sorrow.
Now is loss.
Now is joy in her memory.
Now is sunshine through Noah's eyes.
Now is feeling and acknowledging your pain.
Now is feeling everything that this process brings you.
Anger, fear, guilt, joy, love... these are all stepping stones to the Now that brings peace.

Love this process. Love her life. Love the Now and each gift it brings you.