It's Not What It Looks Like!

So, today I went and donated plasma. It's been a while. Mid-December was the last time I partied it up at the blood brothel.

Since January, I kept thinking I should go, but I just haven't had the oomph. I decided today was the day, so I scheduled meeself an appointment and 45 minutes later, I was semi-reclining on the little S-shaped beds that they have.
See the bed? Doesn't it look comfy? That's not my body, by the way. I did a cut-and-paste number on a picture I found online. These are the very beds I love to chill on. (I'm sure you didn't realize I modified this pic. Good thing I told you, eh?)

So, yeah, back to my story. I waited patiently for all the stuff they have to do to get the machine and my arm ready. And then came the stick. I must say that when I've taken a break from my bi-weekly plasma donations (like I did recently) I get a little nervous again for this part of the "procedure". But... there was no need. I felt almost nothing at all! I congratulated my phlebotomist on her fine stick-job and she proceed to get things ready.

This particular donation happened to be the one where they take a small vile of blood for in-depth testing to make sure I am still a viable donor. They call it a "Spee" (sp?). Said phlebotomist connected the Spee vile to the plastic line full of my blood and then several things happened at once. I am not sure what she intended to do, but she let the Spee vile drop to the S-shaped bed, and, as she did, she looked up at the machine while the vile fell off of the little needle/tube contraption. I watched my blood splash up on the bed and I garbled something incoherent to get her attention.

She, very alarmed, grabbed the "hemostat" and clamped the line off. She said, "You've probably got some blood on your butt, now."

Perfect! I lifted my rear in the air and she said, "Yep. Blood on your butt."

I assured her that it was fine. "A little blood on my butt is no big deal, and I wore my used-to-be-favorite jeans that have a huge hole in the knee and the back of the cuff is gone. They've nearly seen the end of their days anyway. A little smear of blood? It's ok!"

She got everything all cleaned up... well, not my butt... but the chair and everything. I merrily began squeezing my squishy thing to pump up my veins and enjoying the taste of plastic tubes on my blood's "return", all the while reading Eat, Pray, Love (which is an awesome book, by the way!).

Thirty five minutes later, I was "disconnected", gauzed, wrapped and done. I gathered my book, took my layers off (I'm always cold there) and stood up. '

Whoa, Nelly!' I thought!

I had forgotten about my bloody rear. When she said I had some blood on my butt, I had the image of a little smudge, a few drops, a tiny bit. I severely misconstrued her statment of "some blood on your butt". The majority of my entire left pocket was SOAKED! So much that my underwear and pants were STUCK tight to the cheek. I tried desperately to keep my derriere toward the little wall behind me and away from the onlooking donors.
E-M-B-A-R-A-S-S-I-N-G!

I gratefully put on my coat that hangs just below my rear end and was reminded of some awkward moments from my youth. It was entirely unpleasant to try to walk out of there and drive home, but let's look at the bright side... I got twenty bucks and a good blog post!

Plasma Reject

I never knew how much donating plasma has come to mean to me. I donated today and I have actually missed it! Who'd have guessed?

Previous to today, the last two appointments that I had scheduled I was unable to donate. The first of these two, I went in, got weighed, got my finger pricked and blood milked from it, got my blood pressure, heart rate and temperature taken. "Go on back and find a bed", they say to me. I go back, talk to my sister for a minute, and find my bed and start to stash my purse. Next thing I know, the gal that poked my finger comes to inform me that she sent me back preemptively. You see, they prick your finger every time you donate to check your iron and the protein levels in your plasma. I passed my iron test... it was on the low side, but I passed. However, my protein got a big fat 'F'.


I felt like I got hit in the stomach. I felt like a reject! It was so strange how bummed out I was that I couldn't get a big fat needle stuck in my arm and have my blood taken out and put back in. I left the building feeling dejected.

The very next time I went to donate I did the whole process over again. This time my protein was fine. Everything was looking good. EXCEPT... my temperature. You think of temperature being a problem and you're thinking a fever, right? Nope. No fever for this girl. You have to have your temperature at a minimum of 96 degrees. I came in somewhere around 94.5. Yeah. That's what I said! They do give you a second chance on this one. I went and sat for 5 minutes. They called me back and I had gone up to a measly 95.3! Uhhhh... sorry! Buh-bye!

Twice in a row. Seriously. The second time was better because they didn't send me back to get a bed. I felt worse the first time because I went back all set and they had to retrieve me from the donation floor. It was embarrassing.

Like I said earlier... I am happy to report that we are back vampire-business today! Got the blood sucked and I'm feelin' good! :)

Weekend

I am to the point of stuck. Again. I don't feel like I have much that's intelligent to say, so I will begin rambling. My weekend was fun. This was our now monthly kid swap with my friend, Maria. So, Friday night we dropped off the kiddos and went out for a little sushi. It was yummers, and we finished it off with cheesecake. Then we ran and got a Mother's Day present for mwah... a new set of glasses because we have managed to break all but one of ours. (well... we still had two others but they were the dumb ones that I hate, so they don't count.) They were nice and cheap, but elegant and hopefully durable at the same time! Thanks, D!

Saturday found me going to the blood brothel to get paid to have my sister poke a needle in my arm. I had the beginnings of "a reaction". That's where you feel sick, woozy, numb-lipped, heavy limbed or any other number of weird symptoms. I didn't feel nauseated yet, but I could tell I was on my way, so I called my dear sweet sissy to come and fix me up. She told me to squeeze my thighs.... seriously. She said it gets the blood flowin'! So, a blood pressure check or three, a few minutes of thigh-squeezin' and a G2 Gatorade later (seriously... that's yummy stuff!) I was feelin' ship-shape and continued having my blood sucked from my body, spun so the plasma falls out, and then returned to me where I could taste plastic baby doll again! It was great.

I then ran to the store and grabbed some frozen pizzas (it's not delivery, it's DiGiornos) and some ingredients for cheesecake and proceeded home. When I got home, my incredible husband and kids had cleaned the ENTIRE upstairs (my bedroom disaster included!) and had fresh cut tulips on the table in a vase! It was flippin' sweet!

At 2:20 I suddenly remembered that it was "Hazardous Household Waste Collection Day" and it ended at 3:00, and I had buckets o'paint in my basement screaming to go get in a hazardous waste collection bin! (Thank you ever so much to the people we bought our house from who left us a TON of paint! It was so courteous!) I quickly sorted through what I wanted to keep and D and the kids loaded up the rest and Rohan and I were off. It was a drive through service... please fill out this survey, ma'am... thank you and have a nice day. Wow! Then RohRoh and I went to Great Clips to fix his messed up hair! (way to go, Mamma!) He looks SO darn cute! I will post pics later. I haven't taken any, and I can't take one now cuz he is sleeping! (Ya think?! It's only 12:47... why is your child sleeping, you might say? We're just weird like that.) Then we drove by Payless Shoes on our way home and I stopped and bought Roh a new pair of imitation Crocs, and myself a new pair of black flip flops with sparkles. (Thank you Blood Money!) I figured I was justified cuz my last pair I got before I was even pregnant with Rohan!

Home again. I then proceeded to make the cheesecake only to discover that I was one cream cheese short of a full cake, so it was back to the store! Lucky me... I remembered while I was there that I needed conditioner, and while walking down the conditioner isle, I ran into an old friend that I hadn't seen in a LONG time! We chit-chatted and got all caught up right there in front of the conditioner! :)

Home to finish said cheese cake. Cake finished, put it in fridge. (That might just be a superfluous detail... but I think you're used to it by now, right?) Then Maria's kids came over, played hard and long with my kids, add in a minor pit-stop for pizza. I played guitar for a bit and managed to get my fingers sore. Then Maria and John showed up, we jammed out on the guitar and sang a duet... I think we've got a good thing goin' here! Kids to bed, blogged a bit (comments, anyway), and went to bed.

Sunday... Ella came in and informed me while I was lying asleep in my bed that I need to get up early because it's Mother's Day. No, my dear... you are mistaken. I get to get up whenever I want, which is not right now, because it's Mother's Day. Got up LATER, lounged for a while, called people for choir practice, went to church, came home. Went to my mom's for dinner. Dad and Dust cooked us food. BBQ hamburgers. (Thanks to my dad, the BBQ Nazi!) Then I chopped up strawberries and had them with my delish cheesecake! It was SOOO yummy! Then, the fam played Rock Star on my little bro's XBOX 360. That is a hilariously fun game. I was the drummer tonight and I sucked a little less with each song. Good times were had by all....

Came home. Put kids to bed. Watched Juno. Cute show. Cracked me up. Came down to the compy, thought, "I should blog something, but my brain is in need of some repair...". Read a few blogs. Bawled my eyes out at little Charlie Cooper's blog. (read from the beginning if you've got an hour, then donate on PayPal... amazing family!) Suddenly I came up with a brilliant idea for my next post... this weekend review! How original, you might say? Yes... I am simply bursting with originality! ;)