Day 2 of 30

A picture of me last year and now and how I have changed since then…

 

Pictures… my favorite!  I’m just so good at uploading them! 

Here’s me last year… right about this same time.  A year ago today I was two days from my due date with Brynja. 

As you might have guessed, I’ve changed a little bit since then, physically speaking. 

Here’s me recently… this was at a Valentine’s Day Dinner/Fundraiser/Dance thing.  It was SUCH a fun night… D and I learning the Cha-Cha and then Jessica (on the left), Rebby and I (and our hubbies too, now and then) dancing til they closed down the house…  that was a great night. 

So my coat hides my tummy a little bit, but you can see that I’m definitely shaped different now than I was a year ago.  Thank goodness.  Pregnancy is great in many ways, but I was so very uncomfortable this last time.  I’m so glad that’s done. 

How else have I changed, besides the very obvious?   Last year my life was about growing a baby and preparing my mental faculties for the life-altering event that having a baby is.  I was not feeling introspective or even very self-aware, with the exception of my physical self.  Now I feel like  I’ve cycled back into the digging/introspective/processing/moving-forward Clancy.  I felt very stagnant for a long time… a year and a half or two.  I am now digging around in my heart and looking for the areas that are ready for growth.  I’m finding them.   Maybe that’s why I want to blog.  Why I’m actually writing blog posts in my head while I’m in the shower. 

It’s interesting as I think on where I’m at now, I notice that I am much kinder to myself .  I feel like more of an observer this time around than I did in my last cycle of growth.  I look at the things that need work with more love and more acceptance.  That feels good to notice.  I am ok with where I’m at, even though I’m not where I want to be.  I feel like an observer of my life in many ways.  Like I am watching something unfold.

And I like that.