Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Cloudy


"There is melancholy in the wind and sorrow in the grass"   
                                   
                                                   ~Charles Kuralt



There is a pervasive sense of melancholy to this day.  My eyes feel tired and burning and my head feels full, just like I've been crying long and hard.  Which I haven't.  I don't really know how to write anymore but, regardless, it feels like an answer to the question I didn't know I asked.

That part of me that used to hit "Publish" every day with such boldness has atrophied.  I've become fearful and small again.  The ease I had in expressing myself was swallowed in the last four or five years of quiet.  I've had growth in different ways, and I trust the process of my life, but I'm sad for this part of myself.  I miss it.

The optimist in me wants to conclude with something hopeful and light, but the rest of me just wants to swear and curse and tell that optimist that things don't always have to be light and fun in the end.  Sometimes, like getting sick from eating something bad, you just have to sit in the melancholy and let it move through you.  


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Thunderclouds will empty their stomachs
And brother Wind will blow them to another place.
Far away, they will dissipate or morph,
They will become harmless puffs
Or shiny wisps,
Where people dream of bright things again.









3 comments:

Rachel Chick said...

Oh, my friend. How I love you and can understand. It was so good to hear this from you.

Genene said...

Well said Clancy!

I wish I had read & responded to this earlier today. I would have given you the perfect Rx.... come pick dandelions with me! Right!?

Sunshine, yellow flowers, no wind, me, the occasional bee! How does it get any better than that? ;-)

Love you girl
Me ♥

Lauren said...

Let me just say this: you are missed.

I meant to post a comment on this the second I saw you had published again because I wanted you to know, I'm WATCHING for you. I am such a creepy stalker.

You'll get out of your slump. Just remember: it's good enough. You don't need bloody amazing brilliance to post something. You are pretty amazing, though, so even the little things... "this happened today, or my kid said this one silly thing" will still be superb. You have the touch, lady.