My awesome friend, Rachel, posted about this new social networking site called Yumprint. It's for recipes and Rachel's excited. So, I for sure got on the site and signed up. Are you kidding? Something that helps with the dinner hour? We all know I have dinner issues.
So, as I was looking around on the site and trying to figure out how it worked, I started to feel panicky. I've not tried Yumprint, but have tried all kinds of books and emails and calendars to try to help me figure out dinner.
One book, in particular, I loved because it had 5 (or 6? I forget) days worth of recipes with a shopping list prepared for the whole week. I did it for about a month and thought it was awesome, and I discovered, much to my surprise, that I really like cooking WHEN I don't have to think about WHAT to cook and I know I have all the ingredients already in the house. I loved trying new recipes, which this forced me to do every night. I really loved the whole process, except for going to the store. My excuse for falling off that month-long wagon was that it was expensive. It was perhaps a little more pricey than I would normally cook, but I probably saved money for that month because I spent less time at the store.
As I said, I browsed Yumprint for about 5 minutes seeing if I could figure it out, got panicky and then had an epiphany. All the things I've ever tried to do to help myself cope with dinner had one thing in common.
I'm the common denominator. And whatever it is inside that makes me resist the planning of the dinner hour is the same thing reason I fear schedules, routines, plans, lists, etc.. And whatever it is is big. Big and scary. The panicked feeling that I experienced tells me just how big and how scary it is.
I don't know what I'll be doing about that, but I plan to change it. Bit by bit. Day by day. Meal by meal. Week by week.
I'd like to say I'll keep you updated...
Anything is possible, right?