Monday, September 13, 2010

Missing Manic Monday: Preview

Sorry I've not been giving a preview of these words on Fridays.  I keep forgetting.  I've been going out of town a lot and when do we leave?  On Fridays.  I was sorely tempted to pick a different word today when I saw preview... click on the next word until I found one I felt like writing about.  But that was the whole point of using the random word generator... randomness.  The thing I liked about Mo's Manic Monday was I had to figure out how to incorporate whatever word he came up with into my blog post.  Not pick a word I felt like writing about and go from there.  So, I kept preview.

Is it just me or does going out of town stress you out?  Here is my normal modus operandi when I'm preparing to go out of town:

  • Think about all the packing I need to do. (even if "all the packing" is not very much packing)
  • Think about it some more.
  • Think about how I want my house clean because who wants to come home to a messy house?
  • Friday morning rolls around and I think some more about how I want things clean and what I need to do.
  • Do all the laundry I have piled up.  For some reason, I feel compelled to have completely empty laundry baskets when I leave town.  Although in recent weeks, this has changed because of our new bathroom in the basement.  You see, it's half bathroom, half laundry room, complete with a five foot folding countertop.  It's amazing!  I am suddenly the Laundress Queen Extraordinaire and I do my laundry, folded and put away ALL.  THE.  TIME.  It's simply amazing what a difference a beautiful space does to your desire, not to mention functionality, of keeping it in order.  
  • Think about how I need to clean out the car before we leave, because who wants to travel in a messy car?  
  • Get stressed out by all the things I need to.
  • "Rest" from all the thinking via brain-check-out, courtesy of the internet.
  • Waste too much time online and finally pull myself away. 
  • Mentally kick myself because I've wasted so much time and I have so much to do.
  • Run around like a crazy person trying to get ready.  This stage involves a lot of sweaty armpits and may or may not involve *actually* cleaning the car and my house, depending on just how much time got wasted on the internet.  (Yes, I just said sweaty armpits on my blog.  Uncensored.)
  • Leave at least one hour later than I wanted to. 
  • More metal butt-kicking.
  • Fall asleep in car, conditions pending.  *This final step has temporarily been bumped from "pending" to "omitted" thanks to the recent addition of one Brynja Leigh to our family.  :o)
 Do you see why I get stressed out about leaving town? 

For those of you who may be shaking your head in disbelief at my self-sabotaging ways (myself included), I would like to report that, while this has been my *normal* M.O. for most of my life (except the internet part... that particular distraction only showed up in the last five years or less), I am slowly changing my ways.  The old Clancy was so dependably late.  It was just ridiculous.  And, thus, the old Clancy would mentally rip herself to ribbons.  The inner critic had a heyday between the time-wasting, messy house, messy car, piles of laundry, and extreme lateness to top it all off.  It was a Self-Deprecation Party of epics proportions. 


The new Clancy (which is actually still the old Clancy, but a Clancy that is trying everyday to improve herself in small ways and learning to love herself unconditionally regardless of her apparent successes or failures) has, for the last few out-of-town excursions, been ready at a decent time with, at minimum, a partially clean house, or a house at a higher level of clean than she started the day with. 

This last Friday, I managed to be ready by about 4:00, which was the time we were slotted to leave.  We didn't leave until about 6:00, but this was, in fact, due to Big O Tires and not due to Clancy.  We took our car in for new tires, an alignment and a replacement of "sway bar bushings" (whatever those are) and ended up having to replace the "inner tie rods" as well.  So, an extra $200 and an additional two hours, we left feeling much safer on our journey to the City of Salt. 

I'm so proud of me.  :-)

1 comment:

lynsey said...

okay lady, i'm doing what you said and not leaving a comment on your comment post. :)

i've had to evaluate myself a couple of times about this very thing, one really recently.

when i started writing that vulnerable way-too-long posting in parts, i felt like i had just unwrapped my soul and lay it open and ready for others to say that maybe they felt the same way, or they "got me" or something. or just to hear supportive words from friends who were seeing a side i wasn't so proud of...

and i may have lost my mind a little bit when rarely anyone said anything for the first couple of segments of it. i thought that i had scared people off in such a way that they would never come back and questioned continuing on with my story.

so i had that moment of remembering what it's all about, and getting the perspective back again of why i was doing it. and just like you said, it was good for my mental health.

i read every word you write's how lame i am...sometimes feel inadequate to comment. LAME, huh?! i know i know.

so i will work on that.

and you? well you just keep on having conversations with yourself, writing about it and being fabulous. :)