Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Thoughts and Events

So, my blogging career, which once served me such delicious bites of verbal release, has taken a nose-dive. And I'm fine with that, mostly.

I was reading through some old posts a few weeks ago and I got all teary-eyed remembering how much I always gained from my verbose self-expression on these empty white boxes we call, "New Posts". I loved to conjure a story from nothing. I loved to express my feelings. I loved to tell some event in some creative or whimsical way. I loved to make myself laugh. (I always hoped I was making other people laugh too, but I was always laughing enough at myself to be satisfied... regardless of the state of other people's chuckle-meter) I loved COMMENTS!!! (I still love comments, but let's be honest here, Clancy... you have to POST to have COMMENTS.) I loved to see another follower show up on my sidebar. I loved to see that people wanted to read what I was saying, as shocking as that was sometimes.

And now... I draw blank after blank. And I'm ok with that... mostly. I keep saying mostly because I feel like I'm missing something. I feel like I've lost a friend. But, I also have realized that there are times and places for everything in life and my blog has taken a back burner to several things in my life.

I spend much of my daily life homeschooling my son. It is going well, I think, and I think it has been so good for him. I think he is retaining some of the innocence of youth that might otherwise be taken preemptively in this fast-paced world. He is such a sweet kid, despite how some days I feel like he might be the death of me. Although, as he is maturing those days are becoming more and more rare. He is growing up and I couldn't be more proud of the young man he is turning into. His latest thing is to sit with the "grownups" while we are talking. He is happy to just listen to adults talk. I must admit that I was the same when I was a child. Sometimes it is aggravating, but how can I get frustrated with him when he is simply being me? (sometimes that's why I get frustrated with him, I think...) He says big things that often take me by surprise.

In science we have been talking about solutions: solutes and solvents. It has been fun for me to go through all this with him as I often learn something new or simply relearn a forgotten thing. In today's lesson we learned about saturation of a solvent and how temperature of the solvent can affect the solubility and therefore the saturation point.

On his lesson assessment there was a question that had a graph to the side showing solubility and temperature of the solvent. The question asked, "What can we conclude from this graph?" We read the choices together... "A." I said, "Decreasing temperature increased the solubility for all three substances."

"No," he said. "Not that one."

"B." I read. "Increasing volume increases solubility for all three substances."

In all seriousness and without missing a beat, he said, "Pantene will increase your volume!" He was so proud of himself that he knew that! I was so taken off guard by his use of the term 'volume', especially because it was verbatum from a TV ad, or more likely, straight off the Pantene bottle in our shower that I burst out laughing! Looking slightly abashed, he asked what was so funny. I schooled my face back into seriousness and told him that clever advertisers say that Pantene will make your hair look more full, or have "volume". I then explained what they meant by the term 'volume' on his science assessment. He laughed a little and I told him how smart he was and what a good memory he has and we moved on.

I had to record that one. Rohan still says adorable things all the time because he's only four. Ella still says cute things too off and on... or simply funny things that she thinks is fact. Mac now says smart things all the time (sometimes that would be brainy-smart, other times that would be sassy-smart...) and is getting old enough that he doesn't say very many "cute" things anymore. But today, he was cute, precocious and without guile. I love that child of mine and I had to record some cuteness while I still can.

So... that is one thing that my blog has taken a back burner to. Homeschooling. A very large chunk of my time each day is devoted to that awesome, frustrating, incredible, wonderful and cumbersome tservice that I am blessed to be able to offer to my son. I think some people don't approve of my choice to homeschool. I have discovered this disapproval comes across in many interesting and subtle varieties. Little looks people give me, little things they say. I honestly don't care who approves and who doesn't, but it's interesting to observe people. What they think they are keeping to themselves is really glaringly obvious to me. I just laugh to myself and think of the subtle differences I can see in my son and I know I'm doing the right thing.

Pregnancy must be another thing that blogging sits behind. Seems like it should be no big thing. Lots of people blog just fine while pregnant. But not me, apparently.

I'm 24 weeks now. I realized that my last post about being irritated by questions about my baby bump was a little harsh. I went to New Moon with some girlfriends and one of them that I didn't know super well said, "I read your blog and so I know I shouldn't ask you about your belly."


Not true. If you see me, feel free to ask, folks. I was particularly irriatated that day and the people I spoke of just didn't seem to really care... it just seemed like they were making idle conversation. (Which may be untrue. That conclusion may simply have been the filter of my crabby, bugged mood.) Anyway, if you see me, don't be afraid of me scratching your eyes out if you ask me about my baby! I will be nice. I promise. If you see me glaze over and step out of my body, know that I'm having an wool-blanket-itchy-I-can't-stand-to-be-in-my-skin day. It's not you. It's me.

So... I had more thoughts, but they have recently checked out and this brain is now vacant. Just thought I'd update a little with a few thoughts and happenings. I am still alive and breathing... just doing so while almost completely ignoring my blog.

And now, this sleepy, blog-ignoring girl is going to bed. Goodnight.


stevie kay said...

I was partially teasing you about not talking about your belly, but I do appreciate that you didn't scratch my eyes out . . . I'm rather fond of them and would like them to stick aroud.

Oh, and in case my eyes didn't give it away, I totally disapprove of you homeschooling your child, not finding out the gender of this baby, and having an all natural birth. Because really, who do you think you are? The mom? The one entitled to revelation for your children?!? No, you really had better do it the way everyone else tells you. Geesh Clancy, get with the picture! ;-D

Off to read some of the archives as your last post was the first time I discovered your blog.

Rachel Chick said...

Oh, I love ya, Clanc! You live something like a mile and a half from me, and somehow I can't seem to make it over to visit. -- Oh well.

I'm glad that homeschooling is going well! Mac is such a great kid. My girls ask to see your kids often. Too bad I'm such a slacker of a mom, but we've been busy here at home. Sometimes doing nothing, but busy doing so, nonetheless. :)

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving! And know that you've been in my thoughts! Love you!

Kristin said...

LOVE this post... like I do all your posts. You are so good at this! I think it's great that you are homeschooling... amazing actually! Though I wonder what you'd think if you told me in person and saw my 'not sure what to say' look. LOL... I think most people don't have a clue!

Oh! And I didn't take your post about questions on your bump as any more than you meant it... a vent. I could tell you were in a mood (as I'm sure most could because you're so good at expressing yourself)... I've been there!

And as far as feeling like you've lost a friend by not blogging... I know the feeling. I still blog, but not the same way I used to... like you said, 'times & seasons!'

Travis said...

The muse comes and gos, gos and comes.

Ginny said...

amen. and amen. except for the details of the distractions, of course, since i am neither homeschooling nor pregnant.

funny how it works. and how sometimes it doesn't.