whim (hwm, wm)
1. A sudden or capricious idea; a fancy.
2. Arbitrary thought or impulse: governed by whim.
Every morning I wake up and know exactly what I'm doing for the whole day and I always get it all done. Oh wait. Nope! That's not me at all. In fact, I'm the perfect opposite of that statement. I roll more like this: I wake up every morning not knowing what I'm doing for the day. Or this: I rarely have a plan when I wake in the morning.
I suppose I do have a few things in my day that are certain. Get kids up. Brush teeth and hair. Feed kids. Put on my slippers to drive kids to school. Come back home. That's pretty much it. Those are the certainties, the definites, the known-factors that make up my day-to-day life. Oh yeah, and there's also the pick up kids from school and the do homework part. And most days I even make some sort of dinner. Go, me.
Enter Whim, stage left.
Today I didn't have a plan, just like every other day. I got the known factors off to school and then it's just me and Whim. Or, Whim and I, if we're being technical. Well, if we're being REALLY technical, it's me, Rohan, and Whim... or Whim, Rohan and I? Suddenly I can't remember what's correct. You get the picture though, right? (Feel free to help me out, Larrie.)
Yes, Whim and I. We settle in to a perfect rhythm of doing whatever we want. Sometimes it's things that we need to get done, sometimes it's things that we want to get done, and, far too often, it's simply getting nothing done. (FYI: Facebook = nothing)
I am not a planner by nature. I don't check things off of lists. That would be because I don't do lists. My day goes more like a grocery sack in a courtyard on a windy afternoon. Have you ever watched a grocery sack in a courtyard in the wind? It's hypnotic. You never know where it's going to go. Just like my day. Every day.
I don't necessarily like this little facet of myself. In fact, there are some days, not all of them, but some days when I HATE it. Yes, I said hate. Strong word. I know. I wouldn't use it for today's blustery day, though. You see, Whim carried me to my bedroom. Whim told me to clean it. My room was in dire, desperate, S.O.S-kind of shape. It needed cleaning and it need it bad. And not only did I clean the floor that was heaped with lots of ___________ (fill in the blank, it was probably there in a pile), but I also made my dresser and nightstand look cute, dusting included. I can't even begin to think of the last time this dresser event occurred. I'm thinking not so much in the "months-ago" category, but the "years-ago". For real.
I will also mention that Whim also had me cleaning out flower beds and picking up bits of garbage strewn throughout my yard. It was 63 degrees today. It was a good thing. But you know what's funny? I only cleaned out the flower beds and the yard because I was taking the garbage from my bedroom (and I grabbed the one in the bathroom and the kitchen while I was at it) out to the cans in the alley. And when I was walking back I saw the garbage here and there, so I picked it up. Then I saw big weeds starting to grow back from last year, so I pulled them. Then I saw last-years dead growth on the perennials so I pulled that. Then I saw this big black garbage bag full of saw-dust (long story) that I wanted to throw away. It was really heavy so I asked my neighbor (who was also outside) to help me move it to the garbage. We moved it and then we talked for a while. I have cleaning ADD. I never got back to the bedroom. It's only mostly clean now. I'll take it though.
So, the point to this... essay? rant? babble? sream of consciousness?... let's go with babble. The point of this babble is to reveal (to whoever cares) a few things about myself. Let's pretend I'm a list maker and I'll tell them to you in list form.
Clancy is babbling to explore the following:
1- I'm human. Yep. Just human. I've got faults. This is a potential one.
2- My word choice in item #1 intentionaly leads us into item #2. I say Whim is a potential fault because it's not always a bad thing to be 'governed by whim'. There are lots of positives. I *don't get bent out of shape very easily if things don't go as planned. That's because "planned" is a very loose word for me. I *go with the flow. I *have fun with whatever I'm doing. I'm *spontaneous.
*I would like to interject that I'm not ENTIRELY this way either, just mostly. There are rare occasions that I do plan something and if it doesn't go 'as planned', I feel disgruntled and have been known to be *gasp* GRUMPY.
3- I want to learn a different way to live. I want to wake up with a plan. I want to have lists that I check off. I want to be systematic rather than always being a grocery sack carried on Whim.
4- I need a teacher. I don't know how to do item #3. I learned a while ago that if you want to learn to do something, you have to find someone who already knows how to do it and have them mentor you. (I recently experienced this phenomenon with a family who mentored me in things that they didn't even know they were mentoring me on until I told them they were... interesting the quiet example someone can be, and how totally unaware they can be of their influence on you.)
Well, that's all I've got for now. Four items. Seems like a measley little list, but for a non-list girl, it'll do.
So, is there anyone out there who wants to teach me how to be less like a grocery sack?