Saturday, February 7, 2009


Yesterday, I was so worked up that I had to write away my agitation. I dropped that quick little post and it left you all wondering.

There are times when I write to feel better but don't necessarily want to spill all the secret thrills or pains of my heart, so I write in a cryptic manner and never address it again. Yesterday happened to not be one of those times. I was just in a hurry and had to write quickly leaving no room for explanation. It seems that some of you are interested in who this "opponent, nemesis, arch-rival" is. Elaboration follows...

I had a conversation with one of my tenants yesterday. I won't go into the details, but I had to make a choice about something he did and was expecting payment for without coming to an agreement with us first. It wasn't a right/wrong choice, but more about what was fair. It was hard for me because I felt taken advantage of. I always like to be nice, and, as a result, people walk all over me... or have in the past.

There have been times in my history of landlording where I actually stand up and remove the "Doormat" sign from my back. This was one of those times. I didn't take it. I did what I thought was fair, which meant he didn't get everything he wanted, but neither did I. I came up with a compromise. That's what fair is about, right? Compromise?

Anyway, my opponent wasn't so much the actual person I was talking to on the phone. Rather, it was my own beliefs about myself deserving equity and fairness. My own inner battle over "keeping peace" vs. "standing up for myself". My backbone won, and, now that I got all my cellular-nausea out of my system, I feel fantastic about my choice and my strength. Go me!

The end.

P.S. My Captain Crunch wound is almost all better! *sigh*


Maria Hart said...

I found a musician you need to check out. Her lyrics are poignant, they remind me of your poetry. Her voice is wonderful and she plays her own guitar. Her name is Kina Grannis. Look her up on Google YouTube first and then iTunes.

Polly said...


Travis said...

Good for you! And good for the tenant for accepting the fair compromise.

Connie said...

Yay! What a great feeling to be done with a conversation like that. I hate confrontation.

Maybe I'm slow to notice this, but when did you change your blog title? I relly loved the other one. It had so much meaning to it.

Glad your mouth is feeling better.

Shanana said...

I used to be an apartment manager in the slums of San Diego. I can TOTALLY relate to this one. I always wanted to be nice and give people the benefit of the doubt, but it only took a few times to get burned before cynicism reigned.

You might be interested in this post:

Mags said...

I'm glad you stood up for yourself and didn't let this person take advantage of you. I'm proud of you! As someone who often does what everyone else wants (to please them) I feel your pain at how hard it was.

Good job. :)

lynsey said...

this posting reminded me so much of myself during last year when we managed a group home for troubled teens. there were no moments of visibly huge victories with the kids. instead there were moments when i knew that i had held onto a shred of myself that would have been almost easier to let go of than to fight to keep it.

but each time i fought and won, that backbone grew a little thicker and my belief in myself grew a little stronger.

the biggest lesson i learned last year was that i struggle profoundly at drawing boundaries. with the kids, with people in the community, with my own mother. i don't know if you feel this way at all but that's what this posting brought me back to.

enjoy that feeling of being fantastic for being true to yourself. because you are!

the funny thing is, i was totally going to write about the group home today...once i can figure out how to put my thoughts into words it's going to be a whopper!

ps-thanks for your advice on the taping. writing is so much easier isn't it??

Ginny said...

ahhh...been there so i should have gotten it. had our tenant replace something and expect we would be thrilled! both about it and to pay for it. argh...glad you found a happy compromise!