Wednesday, December 17, 2008

From The Jar... #27

Last night (Tuesday night) we had a grand time at my parents house helping them decorate their tree. It was lovely and the kids were in heaven. No wait, it was I who was in heaven. OK, we were all in heaven... my celestial experience was listening to my kids' exuberant exclamations as they pulled out each of my mom's fun ornaments. (and she has ALOT of them!) I would hear, from the other room, Rohan saying "Wuk, MAC! Wuk at dis widdle house!!!" and then Ella, "OHHHH, Grandma! I LOVE this one!! It's so pretty!" Tender feelings exuded from my weary-of-being-a-single-mom-on-the-weekdays heart. I really do love my kids. Even if I say the words "BE NICE, PLEASE" eight-hundred and fifty-two-thousand times per day. Do you think if I recorded myself saying that and played it subliminally in their sleep that they actually would be nice to eachother? Hmm...

And the Jar says...


Do you remember any special feelings you had as a child? Fears, fantasies, etc.


Uhhh.... well, let's see. I wouldn't call fears "special", but I remember I was terrified of rats. I had never even seen one, but I had dreams about them all the time. A recurring dream, in fact....

I was trapped among a sea of rats on a couch on a random porch and I knew if I got down I would get rabies from one of them rubbing their noses on me. Yes, in my dream, you contracted rabies from a rat's Eskimo kiss. They all left me alone, except the king rat spotted me and came running toward me. He had an extra long nose with a ball on the end of it... like the top of a clown hat.
Ya. Like that. Anyway, he zeroed in on me and ran up and rubbed his rabies transmitter of a nose on my leg. I always woke up screaming from that dream. I was only about 5 years old. There was also an alley up a block from us where someone (probably my evil older brother or sister) told me the rats lived. They scratched up a telephone pole in that alley and lived in a scary garage. I wouldn't go into that alley. Ever. I would run past the opening of it when I had to walk that way.

I was also terrified of the husks that locusts would leave on the trees around my Grandma's house in Houston. They have little grippy things on their legs and my [evil] brother and sister would put them all over their shirts and chase me and throw them at me. I'm pretty sure I'm still scarred from it. ;)

Fantasies as a child... hmmm. Any room I walked into I would imagine myself standing on the wall, parallel with the floor and jumping off of the wall and doing handsprings over and over until I could go through the window on the opposite wall feet first. I still do this in rooms to this day, but not every room and just when I get bored.

I also remember babysitting kids as a pre-teen (12 or so) and pretending they were mine and that my husband would be gone somewhere and I would kiss him when he walked in the door upon his return and my life would be like a scene from Leave It to Beaver.

I remember putting on concerts for my little friends when I was about 5 or 6. I would stand on the stage and they would request songs and I'd sing them. I liked to pretend that I was a real singer on a real stage, and I was famous, and pretty, and grown up.

I remember being Red Sonja with my big sword (stick) when we were camping. I would swing it with vigor and kill all the enemies (little dead sticks on dead, beetle-killed pine trees). That was a fantasy I shared with my siblings.

I remember imagining if I died and wondering if people would really miss me. I wondered what they would say at my funeral. I wondered if I could watch from heaven and see their tears and feel important and loved.

I remember very special feelings when I would turn off all the lights, turn on my family's definitive Christmas CD, The Gift, and listen while I stared at the magic of our Christmas tree. And if the tree was in a certain spot, I would sit by the heater while I basked in the warm glow. I remember thinking that life couldn't get any better.

But, it has.



9 comments:

Ginny said...

ooooh...that was fun! and just for the record, I still wonder who would come to my funeral and what people would say.

Clancy In Idaho said...

me too... ;)

Kaci said...

Oooo I don't really like Clowns after I watch It when I was like 11...evil cousins made me. FREEEEEEEAKED OUT!

Maria Hart said...

I loved Red Sonja! And Conan! And Heman! We used to play fantasy versions of the stories, make-believe was very real at our house. When I was little I was afraid of flushing the toilet because ghosts would come rushing out to pull me into the loud, swirling water. I loved to pretend I was a mermaid (we had a pool in AZ). I love twinkling lights: lights on the Christmas tree, city lights, star light....

Kristin said...

I confess, I didn't read the whole thing... my neck hurts from being at the computer all day trying to complete a Christmas present (in fact, I'm not going to read any more blogs tonight). I did read the opening and wanted to comment. I LOVE those moments that are SO precious... the ones that remind us how much we love our children and let us know it is all worth it. I'm sorry you are a single mom the majority of the time. I feel for you and I'll pray for you too! Love you tons!

Elena said...

Ugghhh...I used to have recurring nightmares about gorillas with red glowing eyes. They would hide under the pews in the chapel and I would get left after church and the gorillas would try to get me. I still have a fear of the giant apes. :)

Polly said...

Reading a little much Tom and Huck? LOL

Red Sonja...haha.

You remember so much!

bv said...

It always gets better! Elder Holland told us to never say that right now is the best time because life keeps getter better. I love your memories and can totally picture you singing. The wall thing made me laugh and I want you to know if anything ever happened to you, YOU would be sorely missed every minute of every passing moment because you are special and I hope more than anything you feel that! I YUV YU! xoxo

Genene said...

OK Clank, I know it's way late...... whatever!

I love your post! Fun, fun, fun to read!! Brought up some great memories for me & by the way, I never remember hearing about rats. Proly just my memory but it was interesting to read about your dreams nevertheless!

Later gator