Wednesday, July 2, 2008

From The Jar... #8

And the jar says....

What is your child-rearing philosophy?

What the hey? I don't know that I have a specific "philosophy". I just go by my heart. I try to follow the golden rule... treat my kids how I want to be treated. It works some of the time. Apparently I want someone to fly off the handle at me now and then, cuz I certainly treat my kids that way at times. I am not much of a spanker. Occasionally I have tried it but, more often than not, it just doesn't work. Especially with Mac. He just gets worse if spanking is involved. The best method with him is to set up "the deal"... let him know his boundaries and if he crosses them, be calm but ruthless in f0llow through on what you said would happen. Even if he is screaming and yelling, remaining calm and steady works so much better with him. That being said, it is probably the single hardest thing I've EVER done. Nothing tries me like this process. Knowing that that is how he responds best and remaining calm through all the crap he hurls at me... it's one of my supreme lessons and Mac is such a fantastic teacher for me.

Ella... I don't know if I've yet figured out what her best method is. Kindness for sure. She does not do well with any unkindness. With her, distractions work well... if I can turn a fight into some sort of game, she often forgets it immediately. Like if she doesn't want to leave somewhere, I tell her we'll race to the car and she takes off and ends up laughing.

Rohan... he's responds well to kindness too. Who doesn't, I guess. I have to be very careful with him because he's the youngest. I find myself letting him get away with things that would never fly with his older siblings. I have to watch out for that.

Anyway, I think the best thing is love and kindness. I try to remember the golden rule and remember that they are children. I have a huge responsibility and I feel the weight of that everyday.


Britta said...

Oh man! No manic Monday and now a really hard jar question!

You did a great job answering this one...I'm not sure I can as I don't have any good answers for this one!!!

I love how you separated it out as childrean really are so different and respond so differently. You're such a great Mom and also an amazing example.

I sure do love you.

Ginny said...

I, too, loved the style-by-child format. Says you really do have a that is as dynamic as your children!

Kristy said...

Hi Clancy.
Looks like you had fun in the cacti!! Hope you had a great trip. I like your "philosophy" on parenting-treat them the way you'd want to be treated. That is so important to remember. I think you are a great mom!

Brecca said...

I have a tough time with Brooklynn because Blake and I think so differently. She is a kid and should be allowed to spill her milk. Blake thinks this is unacceptable and worth a spanking. I think his military attitude is difficult to adjust too and to compromise with. He is such an awesome Dad but we are so different with discipline.

Clancy in Idaho said...

Sorry Brecca... that's frustrating, I know. Dustin is a little more harsh too. He's gotten a lot better over the years and having more kids has eased some of that for him. We still struggle with some of that- difference of opinion of how to discipline. Just try to remember that Blake's dad wasn't real easy on any of them. Blake is just RE-acting the way he was trained to do- the same as you are probably re-acting how your mom taught you... sweetness and patience and allowing those spilled milk moments with love and kindness. :) It'll work out. Children teach us way more than we teach them, in my opinion! :)