Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Here? or There?

I have been thinking about a strange phenomenon... I don't know if it has a name, but I think it's real. All through my growing up years, I went and played at friends' houses. I didn't have friends over to my house as often. I never thought twice about this.

As an adult, I've noticed that there are certain people who like to have people come to their house. They feel more comfortable having people over at their house than being at someone else's house. On the flip side, there are others who are more comfortable going to someone else's house than having people in their house. Anyone else noticed this?

I am the latter of the two. I have been trying to figure out why. I am always more comfortable at other people's house than I am to have other people in my house! Weird? I think so. But I also know that most people are more one than the other.

So, which one are you? Please leave a comment. I love comments. Comments make my day! If you read my blog, let me know! I want to hear from YOU! Yes, YOU! :)

(no pressure... but I keep getting people that say they enjoy reading my blog, but I don't even know they read my blog until they say that, because they never comment!!! :) I would love to hear from them!)

Soo... let me know... are you the let's party here kind, or let's play over there? My house or your house? Mi casa o su casa?


Maria Hart said...

Okay, okay! I can take a hint!! I usually prefer to have people over to my house, unless it is a mess. I prefer to maintain the facade that I keep a perfectly tidy and organized house! I don't think it is always an absolutely conscious reaction, but if my house is a mess, my internal workings are a mess as well. When my house is clean, I have internal peace. I know I am not alone in this. Isn't it strange how so many women ascribe personal feelings and attributes in conjunction with their stuff? It is just stuff around my house, but its placement, or displacement, can really affect our state of mind. I need more zen in my life. But I do enjoy having people over. With my kids, I like knowing who they are playing with. I know they are mostly safe here (no guarantees on scrapes or bruises!). I can't guarantee when they walk down the street. That said, fortunately there are several families that I can send my kids to without hesitation. Yours is one. Thanks for being a safe house!

Kristin said...

Hi Clancy, I'm not sure which kind I am. I think I go through fazes. I definitely enjoy having company at my house (less work b/c I don't have to pack up and get there). However, it is nice to get out too... I guess it depends on whose place I'm going to and how many kids are involved. So, the conclusion, I'm probably the anomaly that is either way. I'm very social, so it's probably due to the fact that I'll do just about anything to make it social.

P.S. I LOVE comments too! ;)

Clancy in Idaho said...

Maria- That hint was not to you! :) You leave comments a lot, and I appreciate that! It's other people to whom I was referring who I've never seen a comment from, but they tell me when I see them that they like reading my blog... so you're off the hook, lady! ;) And strangely, I would rather have my kids play at my house with their friends... it's just me that wants to be at other's houses! (unless of course it's a "safe house" like you say... like your house! then I'm happy to have my kids at either one!) I am trying to break free of this and get more comfortable letting people into my "space".
"Isn't it strange how so many women ascribe personal feelings and attributes in conjunction with their stuff? It is just stuff around my house, but its placement, or displacement, can really affect our state of mind."
I think there is absolutely something to all that... Feng Shui talks about that. Everything in our physical world is a metaphor for our internal world. Very interesting! :)

Kristin- I forgot to put that in there... the one who is an either way kind of person. You sound like me though... very social and do anything to make it social! That's me too! I love people! And I'm glad you love comments too! It makes me feel less dumb leaving them on your blog even though I've never actually met you... but that's what blogging is all about, right? :) I'm happy that I've "met" you in the blogging world! You're very likable.

Rachel Chick said...

I think for me it depends on how the other person is. I'm generally happy with either ---- probably at my house a little more. But it really mostly depends on the other person. Some people that I really enjoy hanging out with just don't come over that often to my house (probably because they are the other kind of person) and so because I want to be with them, I go there - and that's just fine with me. You are an exception, because I really don't know what your schedule is and I don't know if you like having people just "popping" in on you and unfortunately I'm not much of a planner, so I don't call people to invite myself over to visit. I'm much more likely to just drop-in on someone, which I know is annoying to some people (probably a lot of people). So Clancy, if you're not the kind that likes to be dropped in on - you need to come to my house more!!! Because there is many a day when I'd really like to hang out with you, but I'm too flighty to plan something! By the way, because of this "pop-in" problem I have, you are WELCOME ANY DAY TO POP IN TO OUR HOME!!!

Clancy in Idaho said...

Rachel... I am a totally spontaneous kindof drop in on people type! Drop in any time! I can't guarantee the state of cleanliness when you use the drop in method... but if you don't care, I don't care!

Just to let you all know... I am the go to other's house type, but part of my therapy program is to get over this... have people over at least once a week! (I'm not kidding here... ) So, come on over! Rachel, we're all set up for this week! Please drop by anytime!

Britta said...

Clancy, This is such an interesting topic! No more blogstipation for you! As for me, I much prefer to have people to my house and I love when people are comfortable here. Your fam does an awesome job of that so thank you! I use to worry about the house being a mess or whatever and it made my universe feel out of sync and I would get really anxious worrying about it but I'm so beyond that and have conceded that our house is a home with lots of life and love. So while I still worry, I don't give myself ulcers and prefer to have people here despite the state of our affairs.

As a child I ALWAYS had people at my house. I really did not enjoy being at the homes of others at all. There was one friend that I spent quite a bit of time at her house but given the choice I wanted to be home simply because I knew the rules, knew what was expected of me, that kind of stuff.

Now when we are in the homes or other people I still get anxious worrying about what the kids are doing, where they are, what they may be doing, etc and it just makes me worry way too much!

There isn't enough valium in the world for someone like me!!!!

Clancy in Idaho said...

Britt... that somehow doesn't surprise me that you are a have people over to your house person. And I can just see you as a kid at someone else's house! Cute picture! I am so the opposite. I get anxious when people are at my house. I feel like I need to remodel the whole house if someone is coming to stay. I talked with my aunt yesterday about this. We decided that it has to do with me being scared to be seen. I have a sort of sanctuary thing going at home and I am not comfortable letting people "in". I am much much more at ease being in other peoples' houses! Sooo... it really is like therapy to have people come over to my house. I have an assignment to have someone over once a week! What a nerd! ;)

Rachel Chick said...

Hooray! I love drop-in friends! Glad to know I have one in you! --- I hope you don't regret seeing much more of me! :)

Erin T said...

Come on over.... but you knew that having lived at my house half your life! I'll go either way. Here in Tennessucky it tends to be where the cool TV is or the best video game. However, my house is a big draw right now cuz whenever Ben is home all of the kids tend to migrate. (He is the only Dad home in two blocks!!!) Poor kids in search of a male companion.

Clancy in Idaho said...

Erin! Your house was always the party house! I'll never forget that one sleepover where we were talking forever and wondered why the moon was so bright... and then we realized that it was the sun coming up as we heard birds chirping! Those were some good times!

As for your Tennessucky (LOL!) house and Ben... that's gotta feel good that your kids are the ones who have a dad home right now! I know it hasn't always been the case, and for that you must be grateful! Even if it makes your house have swarms of kids!

Thanks for the comment. Keep'um coming! :)

Anderson Family said...

It all depends on my mood. But typically I enjoy people at my house. Maybe I am lazy not wanting to get up and go somewhere, but I like to entertain most of the time. Unless I am super cranky then I would rather someone pamper me. Does that make me selfish? I hope not. But all in all both are fun, depending on the situation. I always enjoy time at your house. You are so laid back and I never feel out of place. So thanks for that.

Clancy in Idaho said...
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